I have so many questions and there are so many things that I don't understand still. But I am trying to reign myself in, I don't want everyone getting tired of seeing my posts, LOL.
Anyway, one of the more pressing questions I have is, Does bipolar shadow every thought that you have? Since I have been diagnosed, it seems that is all I can think about
. escpecially when the woman on the other board told me that I am not bipolar and suggesting other possiblities instead. I obsessed about
it for two days. I was depressed and I couldn't stop thinking about
it. I even dreamed about
it. I started to doubt my diagnosis and even researched some other possiblities but nothing else fits. So now, my mind isn't racing with thoughts of bipolar but it does override all other thoughts. Does it diminish with time or will I always be thinking about
the fact that I am bipolar? At first it was a relief to know what was wrong. Now it seems that it is a burden. I know I will have it the rest of my life. But it's like the saying goes. "ignorance is bliss". Sometimes I am feeling really confused about
it. I even asked my husband yesterday if my moods and the swings are reallly that bad. He said yes. It disrupts the whole house and it causes stress for everyone. especially when i am angry or they have to pick up the slack at the times when I can't function. I am in a mixed most of the time so I never know what I am going to be feeling next. But the thought that I am bipolar is always there. will it ever stop? I have my next appointment with my pdoc on the 19th. The meds are starting to help a little bit. I don't go to the extremes so much anymore. I can at least function, if just barely, and I can control my anger more, somewhat. But sometimes I am just so confused. is all of this normal? as normal as bipolar can be that is.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!
Post Edited (twisted71) : 5/10/2008 11:13:08 PM (GMT-6)