I hope everyone is well today and taking care of themselves.
My update for you--I am now working full time in a dr's office as a Medical Office Assistant.
It's been great, and hard all at the same time. And I know I can say that to all of you and you understand. There was about
3 almost 4 weeks where I was feeling stable (maybe a little hypomanic a few days) but much, much better. I really felt like the meds were working! I bet none of you thought I would ever say that! Ha! I didn't either... But as I kept putting in the hours (52 this past week) I crashed pretty hard Friday night. And this weekend has been rough. I'm working 6 days a week sometimes (this week was one of those) and on Tuesdays I'm working 11 hours.
I saw my regular physician today to get a refill on my clonazepam. She is proud of me but was also very clear that I need to take care of myself through all of this so these crashes don't happen constantly. Something else that has triggored my crash--I'm not sleeping at all. And when I am sleeping, I'm having bad dreams. I think one of the biggest things affecting me right now is not sleeping. I am considering upping the trazodone. I will be calling my pdoc to let him know what's going on.
Bf and I have been doing really well until my crash. Last night was a bit rough for us. I feel really emotional about us these days. about a month ago, the relationship almost ended (he really wanted to break up). He felt that he just couldn't "do this anymore". Somehow we stayed together. But it's all left me more insecure than ever. I went from finding out that he was looking at engagement rings to him wanting to end it all. It's left me confused and to be honest, very hurt. When I found out about the engagement thing, I felt so reassured. For the first time in my life I felt so incrediably secure. Now I just feel so much pain.
Anyway, thanks for reading. Now that I am working full time, I don't have counselling anymore. I send hugs to all of you.
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed, Trazodone 50mg/day & Lamictal 200 mg/day