My moods have been all over the place.

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Regular Member

Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 136
   Posted 5/14/2008 9:29 PM (GMT -7)   
the past few days, I have been up, down, normal, anxious, irritable and I am tired of it.  Tuesday I was up all day.  I couldn't seem to sit still.  I was on the go all day too.  Everyone seemed to be so slow and I couldn't seem to go fast enough.  Driving, I went much faster than I usually do even when I am manic.  But it wasn't just driving either.  I went to the mall and people walking in front of me were walking so slow and I couldn't go around them.  so of course I started getting irritated.
yesterday I was down and up at the same time.  more up than down but I really hate that feeling.  I don't know how to feel or what exactly I am feeling when I am like that.  again I went to the mall and bought things that I really didn't need then I felt guilty for it and anxious about what dh is going to say.  I want to give him the atm card but I am afraid he will ask me why and when I tell that I have been spending too much and how much is left in the bank he will get upset and I can't deal with that right now. 
Today, again I don't know how I am feeling, or what to feel.  I have three kids home on their mid term break until monday, and one son home because he didn't want to go on the field trip they are having today.  I don't really want them to be home.  I want them to be in school.  Does that sound horrible?  But on the flip side, they can help me watch the baby.  While I get the things done that I need to. But she wants to be with me all the time.  I have recently stopped nursing her so she is really clingy now.  I can't even go to the bathroom without her screaming.  i can't let her sit on the couch next to me without her climbing on my lap again.  I guess I can't reallly call her a baby anymore since she is 1 1/2, LOL. 
So that is how it has been for me.  I know I have only been on my meds for a week, but I wish they would really kick in.  They are working some, I don't get as angry as I usually do when I am manic and don't get as down as usual.  but I am just tired of feeling this way.  I wish I didn't even have to take meds, but what can I do? 
anyway, I am rambling now so I will go and try to get some things done.  I hope you all are feeling good today.
BTW, anyone here on Facebook?
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 163
   Posted 5/15/2008 10:26 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey!  You are not alone at all!!  I am with you all the way.  I know what you are going through; I am doing it too.  It is frustrating as hell, isn't it.  It is not horrible that you want your kids in school.  You need some space or at least I do when I am like that.  It doesn't mean that I don't love people but that I just need some time.  Hang in there; easier to say than to do.  Your meds will kick in soon; I wish it was instantaneous though.  I am praying for you and thinking of you.  Stop, take some deep breaths.  Know that I am here for you.
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