It seems like my life is falling apart and I'm the only one who can see it. I just want to run somewhere don't know where though. I've been having anxiety attacks that I never knew I had , I feel like I could crawl out of my skin. I can't tell my family they just don't understand. I just want to sit and cry all day.But, I keep it all in. There are times I feel like I could just go puff, and blow up. I've been going to my therapist and one time she said I was bipolar, the next time she asked me why I said I was bipolar, but she would have to agree. This last time I went she asked me why I thought I was bipolar. I'm so confused. I go to see a psychiatrist on the 11th so, he can put me on something. Maybe he has to make the real diagnoses, I don't know but I feel like a a......s right now. In the past they just said I was depressed. I'm having a lot of the same feelings I've had then. Most of the time I've just dealt with how I feel. But in the past I've had to take things. I want to roll up into a little ball and just disappear. It would make life so much easier. I feel like I'm a burden to my family. I can't seem to get them to understand that I just can stop thinking, or worrying, about things. I'm so sick of living and having to deal with all the problems, I'm sick of being the strong one . I've always pretend to be someone I'm not, but right now I can't seem to hold up my mask anymore. I have a great family and I've never let them see me like this but, I can't hide it anymore now their getting to now. When they were younger they didn't understand and so, if I was down they just left me alone ( I was no fun then ) so, it was ease for me to live with my rose color glasses on, in my own little world. I'm getting help and I know I need the help but that to makes me feel like a burden to my family. With having crohn's and now this my life is going into the toilet and, I can't seem to stop it..
Dx June 07 Crohn's take asacol 2x3 a day , entcort 1x2 day ,lotrel for HBP , omeprezole for stomach , potassium , one a day crohn's & colitis therapy , calcium & Vit D , lomotil for lose stools , tramadol for pain , started humira in Feb 08
Dx Bipolar May 08