Twisted, feeling bad in a situation like you are describing is normal bp or not. The fact is, when we do something innocently, and it comes back completely misinterpreted to our intention...we're left with a feeling that we have done something wrong all of a sudden. Then guilt and fear sets in about what others now think of us. I am not bp, and have experienced similar moments. I know for me, shear fear sets in, total guilt, and then I feel pissed that I am being so unfairly responded to. As I write this, I realize that at times, it is the same feelings I get when my H misinterprets what I may say, or do, and then chastises me for it. I end up feeling helpless, because it couldn't have been farther from what I was thinking or feeling at the time. And I feel yelled at for no reason. So, all I can recommend to do is try to explain what was meant, recognize that perhaps I could have communicated what I meant better (the piece for me to learn from for the future), or recognize that after I explain, if there is STILL an issue, I must leave it to the other persons problem. I can apologize for saying something that may of inadvertently offended or hurt someone, or my H, humbly state that it was NEVER my intention, explain more clearly what I may have meant....but then....I've got to let it go. Because in reality, I know myself well enough to know that how it is being interpreted somehow also fell on another's issues, and I am not responsible for those. Does any of that make sense?
A few months back, my niece was visiting with us for a few days (she now lives across the country from us). While with us, she met her half sister for the first time face to face. It was quite amazing how much the two girls looked alike. Her mom (my SIL) asked me to describe the similarities and differences to her. I innocently and sweetly said, "aside from the acne and blue hair (my niece had severe acne- the 1/2 sister had flawless skin - and my niece had blue hair as it was dyed in streaks of bright blue), "they totally looked alike in both features and body type, height...etc. You could see them as sisters". Now, mind you, I told my SIL this privately, NOT my niece. It was said from a descriptive standpoint to answer her question, NOT from any judgment. But several days later my SIL wrote me an e-mail ranting about how rude I was, how insensitive to have said such a MEAN and TERRIBLE HURTFUL thing - that she was sure I couldn't have desired to be so mean, but she felt the need to tell me how much it had bothered her ever since I said it. - I was then stunned by this. I would never have reacted like this if someone acknowledged an issue with my child (as they have many times), as if it had been said about myself. But, she did. My acknowledging my nieces acne apparently was devastating to my SIL, even though I NEVER said anything to my niece except how beautiful she is. My point here is that all I could do was explain my motivation for saying what I said, thanking her for giving me the opportunity to clarify my intention for her, and apologize that something I said innocently, had upset her so. NOW...it still bothers me that she had such a silly reaction over this IMO, because really....aren't there more important things in life to take issue with? But, in the end, it was, what it was and when it comes back to bug me that I feel accused of something mean that I feel I didn't do....I just have to let it go again and move on. I know I am not going to change my SIL from being SO oversensitive about things. But I can learn in the future to recognize the possibility of how she will interpret things, and I can edit the things I say to her from now on to avoid these things on inconsequential stuff.
Hope that helps put things in perspective for you. Remember, you have a choice how much to let this bother you or not. Take steps to feel you responsibly explained yourself, apologize for offending anyone - that it was certainly not your intent, and then...let it GO! Because that is all you can really do. Good wishes to you Twisted. LFW