How do you know if someone is bipolar?

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New Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 6/27/2008 8:29 PM (GMT -7)   
i'm suspecting that my wife may be bipolar but i'm not sure. Things go pretty well for a while (moods that is) and then all of the sudden she has a breakdown, seems like she's a different person, yelling ect... We've been married for 4 years, 3 of which she's been pregnant. She's had 3 miscarriages which i know has to have a psychological affect on her. I'm happy to say that she is currently pregnant and everything seems to be fine.
The last breakdown lasted 3 hours, she screamed at me, basically about nothing, repeating the same thing over and over and over, almost hit me, left the house, drove away for about a half hour, came back and rambled on until i told her 'enough is enough' - At that point it was like she 'returned to her normal self' and wept, apologizing for 'being crazy'. What was the breakdown over, you may ask? She, not to my knowledge or involvement, was having her parents over to paint our 2 year old's room to make room for the baby that is due soon. She had a conversation with someone who questioned whether or not she should be painting if she is pregnant... She searched the internet over the issue and of course it's 50/50 on the subject... She decided not to participate in painting the room and then asked me to paint the room (tomorrow), with her parents. {Background on her parents... a job that would take me 2 hours to complete - they have 2 days planned to do it... so, i wasn't thrilled when i was basically told that i would be painting with them.} So, first what's wrong with the above statements? One: this is my/our household, you think she would ask me to paint my own daughters room and she didn't (i'm extremely handy, have multiple rental units i've rehabbed, so the ability to do it isn't the problem), her explanation was that she knows i don't like to paint.... besides - she should have at least asked me before she involved the in-laws and that is basically the only statement i made when she began to freak out.

This is one example that happened lately, there have been multiple episodes that have occurred since we got engaged (or maybe when she started feeling more comfortable in the relationship).

With these "breakdowns" she always is blaming me for something absolutely ridiculous (from my point of view). For example, placing my shoes under my dresser instead of in a closet... I've tried extremely hard to 'please' her, but i know it doesn't matter because the same thing is going to happen no matter what i have tried to do to please her - it doesn't matter... During the breakdowns, one thing i notice is that she always 'embellishes' or makes things up that i never said nor did.

One other thing is our sex lives since the birth of our first child is nill. When i even try to mention or talk about my needs, she goes into one of these 'breakdown'/rants...

I personally have thought that they are related to, maybe, hormone issues - but like i said, they occurred since we were engaged. Any thoughts or suggestions on where to seek help for us would be appreciated.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1441
   Posted 6/28/2008 10:40 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Pewty,

Well one good thing is that she too has noticed that things are not going so well with her moods. You said she starts going on a tantrum then starts crying and apologizing to you for acting crazy.

I would sit down with her when she is in a calm mood and suggest to her that her mood swings are really getting out of control and that you think that you are her should go together to the doctor and explain to him what has been happening. Explain to her of your concerns and that you want to see her happy and well again.

Maybe she would rather start with talk therapy sessions that you could also go with her to at first to help the therapist understand both of your concerns like what she has recently gone through the last few years and how bad her mood swings are and of your concerns of being bipolar.

Just try to approach her when she is in a calm state and assure her you love her and want to help her feel better and that you are also concerned because of how it affects you as well. Truth is the best medicine applied with gentleness and sincerity.

Good Luck.

 Bipolar - August 2004
     Crohns disease - 1995 
Arthritis & Fibromyalgia 
Leo Buscaglia

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 6/28/2008 1:36 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Pewty,

Welcome to HealingWell, hope you can find some answers and support here.

The problem is, it's notoriously hard to diagnose bipolar, even for doctors. And based on what you've written, I see moodiness, but I don't see any evidence of mania. Have you done any research on what depression and mania look like? Here's a link for you:

Based just on what you've given us, and remember I'm NO DOCTOR, I only see depression. You say she's had a couple of miscarriages, no sex drive, is easily frustrated/infuriated. I'd definitely take her to the doctor, but I'd be surprised if it's bipolar. I'm guessing major depression. Nonetheless, she'd definitely feel better with treatment. And don't write off those hormones so fast. Those suckers are brutal.

Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

New Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 6/28/2008 6:30 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you all very much - i will take your comments into consideration.
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