I'm really worried about you! I don't know where you're from, but if you lived where I did and said that to 911 not only would the police follow you home, but after you got there they would immediately take you to a hospital. Once you threaten suicide here you're automatically sent to the hospital. You did an excellent thing by calling 911, but they really dropped the ball. Please get yourself to a hospital ASAP. You're in a really fragile state and have shown many signs for being a suicide risk. It might seem scary, but it is a safe place and you'll receive all the treatment you need. Meds, counselling, time away from your life. This is a big deal...please listen to me and take care of yourself. We'll be here for you when you get back. Don't do anything to harm yourself.
Bipolar, panic disorder, PTSD, PCOS, hashimoto's disease/hypothyroidism, and in the process of being diagnosed with crohns. Too many meds to list!