when I was untreated or on SSRIs my mania was pretty bad. as a teen before I was treated for anything I destroyed a wall at my dad's house. my dad and I would fight...a lot...he'd get physical sometimes...enter PTSD...and obviously being a teen and somewhat respectful I couldn't hit him back plus I didn't want to set him off even more so the wall became my punching bag. it started out as frustration from my home life, but then any time I would be upset about
anything my fist of even foot would go to the wall. I'm horribly ashamed by it. my dad never got it fixed so there's a big plastic sheet with duck tape on the wall to keep the plaster from falling all over the place.
just so you guys know, while the physical abuse lasted from about
age 8-18 it stopped once I moved out. before this I watched him and my mom have severe physical fights from birth to age 6. years have passed and things have gotten way better between us...after a near death experience for him he even apologized for things. some people don't understand how I can be so close to him now, but it all started out disfunctional...basically him making me feel I had no one, but him...surprisingly though things changed and now it's actually true. I don't know how to explain it. I still have horrible PTSD because of it. I thought once things cleared up and once he apologized I'd be over it, but I still have nightmares, if someone around me has a temper I'm afraid they'll come after me, etc. As a young child, maybe 3 or 4, I would have nightmares that my dad was the incredible hulk...you know, the green guy. my dad had the crazy green blood shot eyes when he would flip. to this day I still can't watch that show. the movies aren't so bad since it's more fake, but the old tv show...that guy Lou Ferrigno...even without make up gives me the chills.
Bipolar, panic disorder, PTSD, PCOS, hashimoto's disease/hypothyroidism, acid reflux, and in the process of being diagnosed with either crohns, colitis, or even lupus...who knows really! the docs sure don't lol. Too many meds to list!