newbie - questions

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New Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 7/19/2008 10:15 PM (GMT -7)   
I am new to this forum, and forums in general, so not sure if I should put an intro or what.  I guess I'll just explain my issue.
I am 24 years old, almos 25, and about a year and a half ago I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and placed on medication.  This was very strange for me because I hate taking meds for stuff!  I have ADHD and have lived my whole life without medication so I didn't understand why all of a sudden I couldn't live without these pills.  They put me on (excuse the spelling) trileptal and klonapan.  My husband and I decided to have our first baby so I got off the medication because I was told in no uncertain terms could I be on them while pregnant.  I had no idea what to expect as I've never had children before, and I don't know anyone who has had children that was also bipolar.  The whole time I was pregnant my mood swings were very bad, and the depresion got extremely bad, it was hard to go to work and a lot of days I couldn't get out of bed.  I chalked this up to being pregnant, but I had my son 6 weeks ago and now it's even worse.  Most days the depression is so bad it's almost unbearable, the only thing keeping me going right now is knowing that I have to stick it out for my baby.  I have to go back to work on Monday, and in fact am starting a new job, and I have no idea how to handle it.  I'm sure I should get back on medication but I have neither the time nor the money to do so as I will have to find a new doctor because the one I was going to moved.  I don't know if this is post-partum or what, but I am also crazy irritable.  The smallest things set me off, and when I get mad I start shaking and just want to hit something.  I have no idea what is wrong with me, I've never felt like this before.  I'm hoping someone in here has gone through something similar and can give me some advice on what to do until I can get back on meds, or if I should get on them, or what. 
My husband isn't any help, he has been weird since before the baby was born.  He might even be part of the problem now that I think about it.  He goes through cycles that are driving me emotionally crazy because he'll be amazingly sweet - cook me breakfast in bed, tell me sweet things, just hold me for a few minutes; but then he changes and gets very short with me and kind of mean, and when I try to talk to him about what's going on he just sits there and stares at me and then when I'm done goes on with his life like I didn't tell him anything, doesn't try to help or anyting.  It makes me feel horrible for even telling him anything, like I"m a burden.
It's possible that I'm overreacting to things but I'm kind of at a loss as to what to do, and I'm afraid it's going to jeapardize my son.  If anyone has any ideas please help! 

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 471
   Posted 7/19/2008 11:44 PM (GMT -7)   
I've never had children...I hope to one day, but who knows. Just from what I'm reading it sounds like your bipolar is acting up and you might have some postpartum issues. Obviously I'm not a doctor or medical professional of any kind, but I'm can say confidently that you definitely should call your doc asap. You are right to worry about jeopardizing your son. He needs a healthy and happy mommy! Hopefully someone with experience in this can help a little more, but I do think your first step will be to contact your doc. *hugs*
27 female
Bipolar, panic disorder, PTSD, PCOS, hashimoto's disease/hypothyroidism, acid reflux, and in the process of being diagnosed with either crohns, colitis, or even lupus...who knows really! the docs sure don't lol. Too many meds to list!

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 7/20/2008 1:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi KKrista,

Thank you for joining HealingWell and welcome to the board.

I commend you for making it all the way through your pregnancy without any medication. It is an ideal that not all of us can manage, but you did it, so kudos to you. I stayed on my meds for my pregnancy, so my days were pretty smooth, but afterwards, things got rocky again. I've been seriously depressed twice since my daughter was born 3 years ago. Your body is going through hormone hell right now, and all that is made so much worse by the bipolar. You really do need to see a new psych and get back onto some meds. Especially if you're starting a new job too. You are carrying a lot of stress around: new baby, new job, strange husband (whether he admits it or not -- you perceive it, that's enough to stress you out.) I know you said money is tight, but you need to make this a priority. If you can't afford the meds, it's time to look into some prescription assistance. Many pharmacies offer it, many states offer it -- look into what you can find.

good luck
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

little b
Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 7/20/2008 5:35 PM (GMT -7)   
welcome to healing well =)

yes, definitely get back on some meds. it's a whole lot harder to get out of a funk without them, trust me. i've never had kids, but i could totally understand the stress level, on top of a brand new job. whew, you're a trooper! i could also never imagine 9 months without medication. you're newly diagnosed so it's hard to come to terms with having a chronic illness. i'm still having issues with it myself. but really, you have to be extremely conscious of your mental health, especially with your baby. make that somewhat high on the priority list. it's important to keep yourself sane. ;D

good luck with everything, you'll definitely have support here if you ever need it.

and guys just never did understand anything we go through very well anyways, did they. especially us; we're wired quite differently. he's probably feeling just like you--doesn't really know what to do or how to react. it's a new chapter in your life and it will take getting used to. as long as you have your head on straight, though, you should be just fine. =)
to suffer is not enough.

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