I just wanted to introduce myself. I was diagnosed as cyclothymic about a year ago and am taking trileptal to help with my moods and xanax to help calm me down when there's stressful "events" that I know are coming up. Does anyone take trileptal and has it been working for you? I'm not sure if it is helping because I don't have a frame of reference. Are panic attacks common with cyclothymia/bi-polar? They've gotten a lot worse as I've gotten older.
A little bit about myself:
-I've been a musician almost all my life. My shrink says that it is common to be really creative/be artistic among bi-polars because the condition stimulates the right side of the brain (any feedback about this is more than welcome!) I consider myself more of an artist than a musician even though music is a central part of my being. Music is not my profession, though, because I decided to switch to business (you have to make a living), but it's tough to be in business because the temperament gets in the way. It takes a lot out of me during the day when I have to be "on my honor" minding my p's and q's in dealing with co-workers, managers, clients, etc. I almost want to scream because I'd rather'd be creating or playing music or some other creative pursuit (rant ends here :) .
-In the beginning, before the cyclothymia diagnosis, I thought that I might have ADHD because I have a history of jumping around from one thing to another and really have a VERY tough time focusing on one thing, except when there's something I really want to do, and then I'm hyper-focused. I need to have a lot of stimulus around me, but my wife is the one who said that I'm probably more bi-polar. She's studied it and is convinced of it. Does anyone else feel they have a strong ADHD portion of their personality in conjunction with the bi-polar? I'm not fully convinced about the cyclothymia because my wife pushed this with the shrink, but I'm not the expert here. I have a tendency to really fly off the handle when things are not under my control (personality style? cyclothymia?). Definitely anger management issue.
-I used to have a problem with alcohol and I'm thanking God that my wife helped me get off that. I haven't spent time in jail (thank God again) and haven't gotten in any accidents (see previous comment about God), and haven't killed anyone from drunk driving (you know the drill). I used to go to the bar every night because the high was so addictive and euphoric. I felt like I was the best form of myself while I was drinking. I was more open and felt like I could do anything. Sometimes the reports back from my friends and acquaintances from the night before was not so great. I don't know what happened most of the time. I don't want to know either because I've shut down that portion of my life for the past 3 yrs. This doesn't mean I haven't had drinks now and then, but I haven't gotten wasted. Anyway, after reading a lot of the posts in this great forum, alcohol is a ticking timebomb waiting to go off for bi-polars.
Thanks, guys, for taking the time to read my intro. Hope it wasn't too long.
diagnosed cyclothymic 2007
meds: Trileptal, Xanax for anxiety