Dear Samoascookies. Welcome. Come anytime you're lost and need help. I do. Sometimes it feels there is no way to turn but there is, here. Not only does the writing it down help get it off your chest, but also some folks here have some pretty helpful suggestions. The final decisions, of course, always remain, yours. about the bankruptcy thing you mentioned. I have been in the same shape you're now in, and worse. I never filed for bankruptcy. My reason has always been the finality of it, the permanence, the inflexibility. I am in Canada, so things might be a bit different here, but, a call to the Better Business Bureau netted me an appointment with a financial counsellor who was very helpful. No committment, just suggestions. Also, we have several "not for profit" organizations started up by folks just like you and I who have been in this position and have found their way out and now want to "pay it forward ".
The other thing that helped me was envisioning "how bad can it get, really". I lived out of my car one summer, spent many nights in a pup tent, went to food banks. There is no shame in this (of course you can't drag a child through all of that but maybe a supportive aunt, sibling, gramma, could take care of the child until you work your way through this). Sometimes being BiPolar feels like taking fiinal exams. It feels like god holds us in great esteem b/c he never gives us more than we can handle. I met some of the kindest and most giving and most supportive people, waiting in line at the foodbank. There is no shame in being sick. There is no shame in growing old. There is no shame in being poor. Bible Quote "it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to get into heaven (sorry if that's not precise , but you get the idea.)
I try to remember that BiPolar is a physical disease. Would you be angry with someone who has diabetes, walks pigeon-toed, uses a cane, is in a wheelchair? Why should we feel ashamed and upset b/c we have a disease. None of us signed on for this. best of luck to you, more importantly, best of you, to you.