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Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 9/5/2008 12:04 PM (GMT -7)   
 I posted the other day my wife has stopped her lithium and went to the family doc and asked for Zoloft and colonipin ( spelled right?). It seems things are justing getting worse each day. Her anger level and parinoid levels are increasing every day and just can't seem to get anything done. Due to her illness we are now loosing the house, her job, and our relationship soon. I don't want to make myself out to be a saint, but I have the patience of one and I just can't keep it up much longer. I have asked her several times to go to the hospital or see a pdoc or go back on the lithium but she refuses and thats that. I have gone as far as looking on websites after researching and might order on line Lamictal and give it to her myself. She will take the zoloft and colonipin when I ask her to with no problem so I thought maybe if I got Lamictal she would take it. She told me that years ago Desyrel worked really well and maybe I will try to get some for her. I know this is not the right thing but I have no other course of action at this point. The only things left for me to do is either baker act her or leave her, which I just can't seem to do. Help!!!!!!!!!!! Is there a med that someone would suggest that if I could get would be the easiest on her and I could get threw a web site pharmacy? help help help.

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Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 9/5/2008 9:08 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi McBob,

Welcome to Healing Well. I hope we can offer you the support you're seeking.

I really can't recommend you try and get any drugs for your wife. Not the zoloft, not Lamictal, not anything. These are powerful drugs that can have strange side effects, and she needs to be under a doctor's care. All you can do is wait. If she is threatening suicide, you can call 911 because she is a threat to herself, and they will take her to the hospital for a few days. Otherwise, I recommend you see a lawyer about protecting your assets, because acute mania, as you are well aware, can be devastating to household finances. Should it come down to divorce, you don't want to be strapped with any extravagant debt she's racked up. I wish I had more encouraging news for you, but as someone who is bipolar and as someone who sees a lot of bipolar relationships on this site, I know that the bipolar patient needs to WANT to get well for there to be any progress. Until that happens, you can only take care of yourself. I am sorry.

Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

loving frustrated wife
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 865
   Posted 9/6/2008 12:31 PM (GMT -7)   
mcbob, I am a BP spouse, and what I can tell you is this. You can not make anyone embrace responsibility about this condition. You can ONLY make choices for yourself. If you do not want to live this life anymore having to deal with BP, you have that right with NO judgment from others. YOU are responsible for you, and believe it or not, your wife is responsible for herself....illness or not. If she has the power to refuse proper medication, and treatment, and then demand you live in a situation of overspending, hostility and everything else that goes along with BP, then she gets to be responsible for the outcome it produces as well. You must remember that YOU count too. Your happiness, your life, your future counts too. We spouses sometimes forget that. Serafena gave you solid advice and input about seeking legal steps to protect your assets and your future. It is certainly your choice to take that advice or not. But be conscious and clear with yourself about the choices you make from this point forward, you will have no excuses to say you did not know better. Your only salvation here is to get honest and conscious with yourself about what you really want, and just as your wife has a right to choose what she is, you have a choice to stay or go. Neither is right or wrong, but if you choose to stay, you must own and recognize that you are not a victim to it is a conscious CHOICE you are making. And should you make the choice to legally separate from your spouse and protect yourself as suggested, if she ever gets it together - gets responsible - gets stable, you can choose to go back. There is NO one way to do this, BUT...just as she is responsible for her; you are equally responsible for you. The feedbacks for yourself are your results. Does this all make sense? Best of luck to you on your choices ahead whatever they are. LFW
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