Dear Olivia (of course). Missing four days of meds is pretty significant. I know when I was on Valporic Acid I forget the other name for it Depakote or something, anyway, when I was taking that med, years ago, if I missed more than two doses, I could feel myself begin to slip into mania. Not sleeping, not eating right, talkative, kid of flakey, is the best way I can say it. Then I would get caught up again and my ship would be on an even keel. I have reached such an age now, the progression in my disease has gone from the extremes of Depressed to only hypomania, horrible anxiety, irritability, anger, frustration, that kind of thing. But although the extremes are less intense, the moods cycle ever faster. I wasn't offered any mood stabilizers during my overly brief meeting with the new pdoc. I guess I understand as I think I've got so many meds running through my system already, I don't think he was keen to add much into the mix. I'm a bit nervous about
him wanting to curtail my fibro and pain meds b/c without them I cannot function, move, do my chores, pay bills, nothing. But maybe I'm presuming too much. Now I want to say a bit about
the living with the parents thing. I currently live with my Dad b/c he has alzheimers and if I wasn't here he'd be in an institution. Also I get a little disability allowance and that helps pay rent, buy groceries, pay a couple bills. So, it's a good deal for him. However, I was in a really bad spot prior to coming here around Dec. 06. I was stuck, I slept in my vehicle, my parents vehicle, when mother would allow it (she's so worried about
appearances), and occasionally on their living room floor. I was really, really sick. They (Mother and Stepfather) called my younger brother asking him to tell me I had to go. He did. I couldn't believe it. If they'd asked me to tell somebody they had to go, I'd say, you tell them yourself if you feel that way. I was ever so hurt. I did go. Then I ran into my mother at the local grocery store and she had the nerve to say, how bad I would feel if something happened to either of them, and since I hadn't left a contact number, well, how would I know if one of them fell ill or something. Huh? I was homeless. Not to many free phones out there dear. So, I can relate. I felt like a "disposable commodity" to them. Inhumane. So here, several years later I'm living out here in the woods, middle of nowhere taking care of my Biological Dad as he needs me, and guess who shows up in our little corner of the world. Good old Mother. Why not take a trip to Paris, or Spain, or Alaska. Why come to this little backwater town of about
120 permanent residents. Why,? well to see what was going on. Plus while she was here she managed to screw up a land transaction I had been working on to insure my Dad could continue to live freely in the community by calling my sister who is co-owner of this land and had already agreed to co-operate, Mother calls her, tells her "she's taking advantage of her father, withdraw your approval". So, Sis writes a letter to my lawyer calling me all sorts of nasty things and the deal sinks. Thanks Ma. So, Olivia (of course) you see we can pick our friends but we don't get to pick our families. My expeience tells me to expect charity (as in Hope, Faith and Charity the Greatest of these being Charity), from strangers before ever expecting it from family. Sorry for being so longwinded. My point, I think, is that a day will come when your parents are on your stoop asking for your assistance. All in a circle.