Hello everyone, I have more questions that I would really like to have answered by someone with personal experience. The more I read about bipolar and the more I try to understand, the less the symptoms seem to represent my wife's behaviors for the last twenty years. I have been reading on borderline personality disorder and her actions tend to represent this more accurately than bipolar. Her moods have always been stable and she has told me she has never suffered from depression. She has had problems with ocd, anxiety, and phobias, all symptoms of bpd. From the fear of abandoment, the phobias, the anxiety, the inability to maintain an intimate personal/sexual relationship for an extended period of time (our intimacy has always been cyclical, good for a while then slacks off, we fight about it and it's good for a while then slacks off we fight about it and you get the picture) and the list goes on to more closely reflect symptoms of bpd than those of bipolar. One thing that concerns me the most about her diagnosis of bipolar, is that she went to the hospital on a Monday at 3:00 pm and was admitted, she was to the point that she was almost ready to have a nervous breakdown where we had argued and fought all night and early the next morning. She was still taking Zoloft and was legally drunk when we went through the emergency room, even though she had not had anything to drink since 11:00 am the previous day. She saw her psychiatrist around 9:00 pm that first night and the first thing he did was stop the Zoloft and wean her off of the Kolonapin. She only saw the psychiatrist about thirty minutes each day until Thursday when he made the diagnosis. I would tend to think that the information that she provided for at least the first two days would not be very credible seeing the condition she was in when she arrived there. He never asked her anything about the previous 19 years, only about the last four months. The five days she was in the hospital they never asked me a single question about the state of her moods for the last twenty years or anything else. Should her emotional history have been evaluated to determine if there were mood swings, depression, or manic sysptoms in the last twenty years. Should I not have been questioned thoroughly about what I have seen and lived with for the last twenty years. Could the doctor have mis-diagnosed the combination of borderline personality disorder (a symptom of both bpd and bipolar is promiscuity) and alcohol abuse while taking Zoloft as the symptoms of bipolar? If this were your wife of twenty years would you seek a second opinion? One of the major symptom of bpd is the fear of abandonment probably caused by a seperation or sense of loss while a small child ( my wife's parents went through a nasty divorce when she was very young, leaving her with her mother, and her two younger brothers going with their father). My wife has told me and our counselor numerous times since she was relased from the hospital that she was always terrified I would leave her even though we had a good marriage and she knew that I loved her. I can tell that her mother influenced her greatly with the ocd and the phobias. One of the things I have noticed about her mother is that she is is always checking things multiple times, and she is always overly frightened of everyday things and situations, such as her husband backing the rv into the driveway, and usually the first words out of her mouth are "oh my God be careful" or "oh my God watch out" and sometime she goes so far as to cover her eyes. She is also terrified of thunderstorms, as in the past she would get up in the middle of the night, call and ask to come over, and then drive 15 miles to our house if there were a thunderstorm coming through, as if it were safer at my house than hers. She now has my nine year old daughter frightened of thunderstorms and I am trying to show my daughter that there is nothing to be frightened of during a normal storm. I know my wife's mother behaved this way as my wife was growing up and probably planted all of these seeds for phobias in her head. I also think that there is something else that I have not uncovered yet because my wife has severe anxiety when her mother calls on the phone, and when her mother is at our house my wife can't sit still from the anxiety and I have noticed that her hands tend to shake when she is in the same room as her mother
. Any thoughts about this confusing situation would be greatly appreciated.