Hi, I just found out that I am Bipolar, and it is a relief of sorts.

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Martha's Vineyard
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1119
   Posted 10/11/2008 9:56 PM (GMT -7)   
I have been on a rollar coaster for a while. With the highs exhausting me and the lows scaring the hell out of me. The lows were getting so low that I was planning suicide all of the time. I got lyme disease 4 years ago, but this was something new for me to deal with. My dr. put me on Cymbala. And this made me feel better. But after a year..the bad thoughts and the crazy highs and lows came back. It got to where I did not want to be with myself. It was exhausting. The stupid spending, the short temper, and the racing mind. The stupid little voice that never shuts up. It is maddening. I ran to my dr. and begged him to stabilize me. He wanted to put me in a hospital so that I would not hurt myself. I have such a great life so this was all so odd for me. I did not want to be around anymore. I did not want to live in my head.
I was having panic attacks over dumb things at the drop of a hat, the chest pains and the sweating. Too much. The constant fear and anxiety. I was miserable. My dr. put me on Lamictal. 25 mg. The first time that I took it, I had to lie down for about 3-4 hours. It made me feel so relaxed, peaceful. I am now taking 75 mg a day. And it has changed me. I don't like the fact that I need this stuff to get by. But it makes me feel so good. I don't like to take more than 75 because it gives me sort of a hangover. and i do not like to take it all at night for the same reason. I like to take it every six hours. and i feel so peaceful now. I have a lot of patience with my kids now. they seem to like me a lot better now. Because I do not yell anymore. I feel calm. It does not make me tired. Like zanax does. I do not need zanax anymore. It did not do the trick for me. I am so happy to have found this medication. i know it is the lyme that is causing all of my nerological problems, but at least I can live with myself and others now.
I got Lymes in 2004. So did my 11 mos old daughter and my favorite dog Toto.

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 10/12/2008 12:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Martha's Vineyard,
Welcome to the bipolar board and welcome to this journey with us.

I've been on Lamictal for years and it's been very good to me. It really helped level me out. I'm glad to hear it seems to be working for you too. Thanks for chiming right in on the board too. I'm excited to have you around. I look forward to your input.

Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 136
   Posted 10/12/2008 10:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello and welcome. I am glad that you are doing better than you were. you sound like a lot of us before we were diganosed, I know you sound like I was before I was diagnosed. The meds have definitely helped me.
Again welcome and I hope to get to know you.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

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