find out your wife is cheating how to cope?

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New Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 10/16/2008 8:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi all
I am new here..But a great forum!
I was diagnosed bi polar last year and have struggled with different medications from Depakote, Lamictal and now on trileptal which seems to be working....
Things were going really well and I even managed to kick the alcohol and became tee total one year and counting!
I have just found out my wife has revealed to a "friend" my condition.....She has I believe eventually had an affair with this person.. I feel betrayed and totally blown away, I emigrated to be with her and I am on the verge of a depressive episode...I feel like running away, I only feel better after taking clonepin at the moment....
What can I do? I see lots of posts here from bi polar people who cheat during manic episodes but in reverse, I just dont feel equipped for this and blame my condition for her doing this.. Help!!!

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 10/17/2008 7:57 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Mikem280770,

Welcome to the board and to HealingWell.

You must feel really betrayed knowing your wife revealed your condition without your permission. That must feel awful in a way that only those of us with a highly stigmatized disorder can really understand. Perhaps your wife felt a lot of pressure, holding onto a secret, but that's completely unfair.

As to an affair, have you talked to your wife about this? Is she otherwise a supportive and attentive wife? Why do you blame your condition for her doing something like this?

Do you have a therapist or anyone you can talk to? You say you've emigrated. Do you have friends or family near by that you can rely on for support?

Be well,
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

New Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 10/17/2008 8:16 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for the response!
I came here from Switzerland alone just to be with the love of my life.. I have nobody else here, only my wife.. I have been to a therapist, she seems to help but in some ways tries to get me to see that being "bipolar" is somewhat fashionable in the US..... I really dont care if it is or isnt, I feel humiliated and am on the verge of tears every day and now cant face any of my wifes family because I feel that everyone knows now.. That makes me think they "censor" their behavior around me..This makes me feel worse...
Myself and my wife talked long and hard yesterday and she denied any affair took place but admitted she did open up to this friend about my condition and how we struggled etc.. I dont believe I got the truth and to be honest never will feel I get to the bottom of it, her friend revealed too much that was accurate to third parties...
I am going today for another therapy session and just hope against hope I feel better afterwards... I have even checked flights back to my home country this morning because the pain,fear and humiliation is killing me......
Thanks for listening, I really mean that.. This forum has explained so many feelings I have struggled with over the years
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