Diskus- i am glad to hear you guys are on the rite track, I too gave an ultimatum, which is why we're in a seperated state. Now I feal bad as it appears the psyc she is seeing is a quack. Even wikipedia states that Paxil should not be prescribed to patients with possible BP disorder. and Side effects are Suicidal thoughts, and withdrawal syndrome. Which, in fact, my wife ommitted herself into the hospital for thoughts of hurting herself for things she has done to push me and her family away. They did prescrib her an antipsycotic when they released her, but with no refills and that was that. And When i say i will never give up, i am not nessasarily speaking about the marriage, but more or less on her in general. should her and i not work out, I will always be there for her as a friend, and she i is the mother of my children, and for the best interest of the kids, it is important for them to have stable parents. Serefena- I did notice though that since she has been on paxil and it started to take its effect on her she has not been in the so called depressed state as often, however as you stated Anti depressants alone can make mania worse. I aggree. but she is going to a psyc, not a gen doc. But I think we might have to request a transfer. To make our life even harder, our financial situation is not hte greatest. She is a hairdresser, and I have been working self employed for the past 7 years. Some of the government contracts i have gotten had health care included, but they would only last 2-3 months at a time. and if i decided to keep, it costs upward of 700 a month. The kids are covered through a pennsylvania kids healthcare. She sees her doctor for free through a program called stairways, but makes me wonder if they just don't care like a facility that is not state funded would. My therapy includes working out daily, and golfing. I speak to my wife on a regular basis. as we have children together and no matter what we will always be best friends. I cant afford to see someone, free or not, i cannot miss work at this time. I just started at GE and after about 6 months, i will be making enough i can take the time off and benefits will cover that as well as my wifes treatment. Again, should things not work out, i will still add her to my insurance as long as she still caries my name. Needinreassurance- for me, before my wife was being treeted, I would have never thought of another person in the mix. We were ( i say WERE) very trusting. We usually spent alot of time together, one night a week we each had our own nite out. about a month before things were out in the open, she started texting alot on her phone. we each have mutual and solo friends of both gender and never had jelousy issues. I told her that no matter who she is speaking with, when she is with me, it is rude to be carying on a conversation with someone else, save that fr your time, not when we're at the movies, dinner etc. One of our mutual friends told me she stepped outta line while intoxicated. She had come on to him. I brought it to her attention, and she blew it off. like it was nothing. which, really wasn't, flirting is flirting, if your gonna stay married forever, if you cant at least go out and see that others find you attractive, with no actions being made or steps to continue it is just flirting. Well thats when the going out alot started. It wasn't till I was hearing she said she went out with one person, yet they were somewhere else. i brought to her attention. She then was starting to say I was paranoid, jelous etc. Which i have never been that way. farthest thing from jelous. she started going to her therapy, and told me about her condition, whenI started looking up on BP one of the biggest issues was what I thought was going on. Lately she had been spending lots of m,oney on cloths, makeup, tanning etc. I asked her one more time, and Since we were friends first, and Ive known her for bout 10 yrs, I knew she was lying. I went thru her phone one day, our mutual friend who had brought to my attention she came on to him had been having lots of conversations with her, luckily it was him, and not someone who didn't respect me, 90% of his responses were, you have a loving husband, ur just confused, etc. And her texts were i cant believ i am doing this to him, i have to tell him, etc. etc. When i brought to her attention is whenshe broke down. She had said she started having feelings for him and thought they were just that he was a close friend. then she said she had been feeling for him, the way she had felt for me when we first started dating, she admitted coming onto him on a few occasions, even came close to trying to get him to sleep with her, but he just laughed and would say your just drunk, go home to your husband. She then was contemplating a divorce but the fact that he wantied nothing to do with her on that level, and that the few times she came on to him, he made her leave, is why she never said anything, and for the past three months she had beeen living a lie with me, and fooling herself into loving him. It wasn't until she came clean with her doctor,(who she even hided from) and started talking about, she realized she was confused, in a way, she associated our relationship with stress, kids, bills etc. and when she was around him, there was none of that, and thats when things started turning to the worse. I still speak with the mutual friend that this happened with, for the longest time, he avoided me at all costs when I threatened his life, as i am Irish with a big temper, and before I knew how things really went down. He did one day ask if he could meet me somewhere and apologized for what happened. even though he reacted appropriately to her actions, he was in the wrong for not bringing to my attention. By the time he realized how she really felt for him, and that she was contemplating divorce, he only thought of it as her have been too drunk and flirtatious. didn't want to mess up a good thing over little stuff. Which, i probably would have been the same way. I cannot lie and say i have never cam on to another girl, and or/ kissed at the bar when 1 shot away from throwing up. But i was open about my actions, and never acted on little crushes that i may have had with friends of my wife's that she worked with. Before this, it was all kind of a joke. I would tell her, ooo, i think so and so at your work is hot, and we would kinda role play and such, keep things spicy and interesting w/ our sex life. well, I am at work, and even though i do work on the computer, i do have some real work to do. Sorry for any miss-spellings or typeO's. Thanks for your replies, and I will be talking with her psyc next week and bring up some discoveries about meds/treatment to her. Thank you agian so much, it is very uplifting to speak with people other than my parents or siblings.