Somehow I've managed to survive with the mood disorder for more than 30 years, what I can't seem to manage is to get a doctor to hear me when I tell them what's going on in my head and in my body. I know that I need an antidepressant, I also know that Zoloft works very well for me but sooner or later begins to lose it's effectiveness. I had to take a two year holliday away from it and was ever so grateful when I went back on it, here about six weeks ago, and I'm beginning to feel much brighter. However, as a BiPolar II, I have bouts of hypomania where I can't stand being in my own skin, can't stand anyone around me and am irritable, pace the floor, get cranky with my dog, with my Dad, feel like an elephant is sitting on my chest, and can't stand it. For this I need an anti-anxiety med. I can take a valium, lie down for forty minutes, get up and get on with my day. Then my pdoc cut the med by two thirds. It was working great. I wouldn't even mindif he cut it by one third. Then when I called him and left a message he didn't even bother to call me back. I am not some teenager selling their ritalin on the playground. Nor am I a crack addict exchanging prescription meds for their preferred drug. I'm a middle aged woman who has raised two children, alone, and is now caring for a very fussy dad who has alzheimers. I know what works. I'm not out to run any marathons, begin a new career. I just want to feel OK most of the time. Thanks for letting me vent.