Boy, can I relate. Up until about
two months ago, I was right there with you. Finally, I got to see a pdoc, got some appropriate meds and feel soooo much better. There is a soooooo much better out there for you to, just put one foot in front of the other. Move towards any trusted professional you can find, and remember, it's your body, your mind, and your spirit. Think about
what has snapped you out of it in the past. Go get that. Give yourself permission to feel what you feel, feel it and move on. If today is not a good day, tomorrow will be. Love and best wishes from those who know.