Spouse is bipolar

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New Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 11/27/2008 1:43 AM (GMT -7)   
cry   confused mad Ive been married to my wife for eleven months. I found out she is bipolar 6 months ago. She does not take her meds but, she wants to collect social security check for it. Last year; I paid $3000 for her to go to school to be a PCT. She completed the course but does not go to work. She yells at me but she kisses her girlfriends ass. They also use the government for finnacial gain. She is 23 y/o and was previously married also, she has four children from her past marriage. Recently she met her ex-husbands new girlfriend and she cant stop talking about it. She is manipulative with her fault finding and blame shifting also she known for playing the "damesal in distress". She told me today that I am a fool for being with her. I am at the end of my rope with her. She isnt helpful to me at all nor does she care about my feelings anymore. Anyone out there who can relate with my situation?
(I added a subject line--serafena)

Post Edited By Moderator (serafena) : 11/27/2008 8:27:47 AM (GMT-7)

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 11/27/2008 4:12 AM (GMT -7)   

I agree with your wife; "you're a fool for "being with her". You can't make anyone "get help". I wouldn't worry too much about her ├╝sing the gov't for financial gain, they tend to put folks through the ringer and won't help someone who won't follow a Psychiatrists'directions.

If she is BiPolar, it's a rough road ahead, especially for you. If she won't take her meds, the bridge is out, there is no road ahead. Find a lawyer, most offer 1/2 hour free consults and bail. There are plenty of women out there who would like to be married to a caring man like you. Now it's all damage control. Maybe you can get an anullment on the basis of "Fraud". Being BiPolar is a little bit more than just a tidbit she forgot to mention. It sounds like you were duped. Sorry, explore your escape options. Cut your losses and Run. Find yourself a nice widow. They haven't failed at marriage and will be very caring. 

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Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 11/27/2008 8:26 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi herpincushion,

Welcome to HealingWell and to the bipolar board.

I think you will find that there are many spouses on this board who are in similar positions as you. The difference is that most of them have been married much longer than you. You sound very angry and in need of some sort of professional counseling to help you decide what to do.

Bipolar is a chronic disorder which requires constant treatment. If she refuses to follow her medication regimen, there is little you can do to force her. I can warn you that it is only likely to get worse without treatment.

As to the government money -- that is not surprising. Untreated bipolars are known for being secretive and manipulative.

All you can do is have a serious talk with her, laying your concerns out straightforwardly and honestly. Whether you decide you need to leave or not is up to you. But living with bipolar is tough even in the best of circumstances. You're getting the worst of it.

Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 11/27/2008 4:15 PM (GMT -7)   
Amen to that. You need some boundaries for your own well-being and mental health. You are obviously invested in the relationship, but is she. If she is as young as you say and has four children, where are they? Do you take care of them when she's out with her girlfriends? that has to be very hard on the children. Like pawns in a chessgame. I feel so badly for you.
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