Hi, I am new to this site but this seems like the only site which offers any advice on this condition which is helpfull and free. I will tell you my story, before I start I will reiterate the type of person I am, I do not like to label people or point the finger as I have done in the past and have done allot of learning from the situation that will make me a better person, as far as I am concerned I take people as people race, colour, illness etc.
When I met my partner 8 years ago we seemed to be destined to be together, we made a fantastic couple, She already had 3 children aged 11 7 and 8 from a previous marrage of which I had no problem. 4 months into the relationship the whole dynamic changed and she became very unstable, I did not know what was going on and she was not diagnosed at this time. I did not know at this point which person I was coming home to and she would be extremely bad tempered and unpredictable, her children was in the middle of this and I ended up as a babysitter whilst she spent weeks sometimes months in bed. My life was like a whirlwind I didnt know if I was coming or going, She fell pregnant and gave birth to our daughter and I found out she was addicted to butane gas, anything from 15-30 cans a day which ate up our resources and it was a problem to feed the children and ourselves, there was suicide attempts and overall madness etc but no GP or psychiatrist knew what her problem was. I seeked advice both medically and also independant to no avail. There was no help available, If she had been an alcoholic, a drug addict etc... there was things in place, but no help for us.
She gave birth and the addiction was still there, I was a the end of my tether and eventually social services got involved and the kids went with their father.I moved away and got a home for me and my daughter and broke contact. She would ring up to 30 times a day but I did not return the calls as it was too painfull for me and I did not want my daughter to grow up in that kind of environment. We started talking after 6 months and she gave up the addiction for good and she moved in with me and my daughter and was clean of the butane addiction and has never returned.c c
When we moved she changed to a new GP at our new address and was reffered to a proffessor who then diagnosed her with rapid cycling BiPolar and post traumatic stress disorder as well as obsessive compulsive disorder. during the next 2 years she was referred to a mental health ward and recieved lots of sessions of ECT (around 30 plus) which was horrible for he and fo me but the first lot of treatment seemed to be effective for some time.
A bit of background, it came out at the time of diagnosis that she had been abused by her father from the age of 6 until she left home hence the post traumatic stress disorder and she suffered with regular panic attacks and anxiety.
Our sex life has been non existant for 7 years and this drives me mad as whatever I do for her it is not good enough, I have really tried to amke things work between us and have been at her beck and call for all of this time. She accuses me of giving her no support even though I have no free time and seem to spend all of my time doing tasks for her? she is extremely high maintainence to say the least. She can scream at me for hours in front of the children and never has a good word to say about me, usually many bad words and she swears and calls me things in front of the kids who have totally lost respect for me. Now we live in my flat for which I pay the rent and work sometimes 50 hours a week to pay for and she now wants me to leave and I do not feel comforatble in my own home and am living like a pauper as I am paying off her credit card and overdraught which the bank has kindly given her. I cannot sign the flat over to her, i cannot do anything I want in my own home and am constantly being verbally and physically attacked in my own home. If she was a man I could hit her back and maybe she would have second thoughts?, but I would never dream of hitting a woman. I have lost 3 jobs over her as she would fight and maim me on my way to work and would fall ill making me lose my job when I have worked my way up in the company. I have spoken to her doctor, her health workers etc...etc.... and they side with her and have offered to get her alternative accomodation which she refused, they offered me no help and told me to go to the police who again side with her. She has accused me of tampering with my daugher, abusing her sexually and also exposing myself to my daughter. Now this is a very dangerous situation as none of this is true, I dont know if it would never do and would never even dream of doing as it turns me sick. After reading other peoples posts on this subject I see this has happened to them also and now I feel at least human again, this is affecting my work (i am a team leader) my confidence and also my general quality of life as she will tell my daughter to take no notice of me when I disipline her.
I know this website is based in the US and I am a UK citizen, you seem to be so much more aware of this condition than they are over here, She has not been taking her anti psychotics for the last month and a half and has been very unpredicable and bad tempered and has missed her doctors appointments and has another appointment in feb next year.
This is driving me mad can you offer any advice on this as I am skint even though I earn 24k a year and cannot settle in my own home and have no social life period.