Decided I was not Bipolar and flushed all my meds down the toliet. Does this sound familiar?

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Precious Gem
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Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1139
   Posted 12/9/2008 1:00 PM (GMT -7)   
My number 7 or 8, I can not really remember, mood stabilizer, Zyprexa, broke me out in hives from head to toe.  I decided that was it and I flushed all my medicine away.  I did great for about 48 hours, then the worse depression I have ever suffered hit me like a ton of bricks.  So, today after work I get to go pick up another med and start all over.  Has anyone out there done such a foolish thing?  I even recently went for a full physical because I just knew something was physically wrong with me that was causing these mood swings, rapid cycling, etc...OK, you can stop laughing now.  Turns out I am A-OK but the fact of the matter is I never really accepted my BP diagnosis.  Now that I have accepted it, or trying to, I just hope that new med will work.  I am so physically and mentally exhausted from trying to deal with this, work 45-50 hours per week, have a happy marriage, send my daughter to college and keep my sons room available when he moves back home because his girlfriend is using the heck out of him (I try to be quiet about this because I know this is an area, with a 22 year old male that moms do not butt in).  I had four days off at Thanksgiving and I felt so good and calm and looked well, but it only took a few days back at the grind to send me spiraling. 
Has anyone had good results with Risperdal?  This is the med we are trying now because we are running out of options, I have been on so many.  Antidepressants just make me so manic I could fly like superman, then when I come off of them, it is rapid cycling city.  All I can do is just keep trying.  When I start feeling like I just want to give up, then I know I am in trouble.
Any input would be appreciated.
BP Gemini, back again

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 369
   Posted 12/9/2008 5:27 PM (GMT -7)   

I hope that besides the Risperdal that you are also on an help with the ups and the downs.

For me my combonation works really well.   I am on Zoloft and Risperdal.  I have only had to make one aadjustment and that was to increase my antidepressant.  The impulses...especially with spending are pretty nonexistant.  And more importantly it has calmed my mind down.

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending" ~ Maria Robinson

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 12/10/2008 8:56 AM (GMT -7)   
Oh, BP Gemini, I am certain you are not the only one. I'm sorry you've had such a bad time of it, though. We all go through these periods where we just get so tired of the moods and the exhaustion of the medications and it's all so frustrating. I know I've certainly wanted to flush my meds. I haven't yet, but you never know... wink

I'll cross my fingers that Risperdal works out for you. Be patient, make sure you give the drug a chance to work before you declare it a failure. I'm glad you're back. Keep us updated on how you're doing.

Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 125
   Posted 12/12/2008 12:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Dear BP Gemini, I am on Tegretol and Risperdal and the combination has worked for me. I have made the mistake of throwing my medicines out of the window once. Once I flushed Zyprexa but at that time I was not informed that I had bipolar. I threw my meds out because I believed that I had put on weight and was becoming bald. I felt terrible after that. I quit my job and wanted to kill everyone around me. I regret quitting my job because I was going to get a promotion and an excellent salary. Now I am unemployed and am trying to write a book. Throwing meds is a really bad idea but I think bipolar people go through those phases.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 12/12/2008 3:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Hang in there Gemini.

I have kids your age and they are a total pain in the butt. I love them a lot but they are totally self centered and as needy as toddlers! I have a lot of sympathy for you.

Can you slow down on working so much? 50 hours is too much.

Risperdal made me foggy, but that was just me. I am now on Lamictal, Geodon, Welbutrin, and Xanax as needed. I also take Topamax for migraine prevention but it is a mood stabilizer. Hey, I oughta be stable, right?????

hugs to you and know that you are not alone.

Precious Gem
Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1139
   Posted 12/17/2008 9:56 AM (GMT -7)   

Thanks for the reply, but I must sound young because I am 50. Well, maybe today I will be 49 again. I have had BP symptoms since mid-twenties but am very strong willed and did some self medicating but about 5 years ago, I could not do it on my own anymore. I have teenagers and they are a pain in the butt sometimes, but my kids are really concerned for me and they are the light of my life. There were times I just felt like I could not go on, but they were always my inspiration, my strength to keep battling this problem each and everyday. Hey, if I wasn't around who would be harping on them to: clean your room, check the anti-freeze in your car, was your own dishes, take the dog for a walk, stop leaving all the kitchen cabinets open, take out the trash, etc ha ha

BP Gemini

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 176
   Posted 12/19/2008 9:20 PM (GMT -7)   
I was looking at your name, Gemini, and I had to giggle a little. I am also a Bipolar Gemini... and a TYPICAL Gemini at that!

I must say, I don't know anything about Risperdal, but I am on Tegretol which works beautifully!! Have you ever tried that drug?

Precious Gem
Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1139
   Posted 12/22/2008 6:36 AM (GMT -7)   

Yeah, how ironic that someone with BP would be born under the sign of the twins? I have never been on Tegretol, I am sure if the Risperdal does not work that will probably be next. But, thankfully my PDoc upped my dose of Risperdal, we started very low because I am pharmaceutically challenged, and I feel very well again. I just hope it continues to set with me well.

Thanks for writing, I appreciate and always look forward to hearing from different people from the forum.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

BP Gemini
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