Major Depression

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 12/28/2008 3:09 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi everyone, Belated Happy Holidays...
....Ugh cry I have been depressed since these holidays started last week.  Today has been the worst, and I have to go back to work tomorrow.  I am anxious about it.  Mondays in dr's offices are bad enough, but it will be a Monday after being closed since Tuesday of last week!! shocked I honestly don't know how I will get through it.  To top it off, the other secretary won't be there.  She had a major tragedy over the holidays...So it will just be me and one of the other girls.  We're both really hard workers, so I know we can do it.  It's just harder for me right now.  And the other girl doesn't know about my bp, no one at work does, so it's not like I could vent a bit.  Also, the other secretary is on my mind.  What happened with her last week was horrific and I just found out today.  She is on my mind as well.
Relationship has been rocky of late, to say the least.  I am back to being very confused about my feelings and the future.  I am very emotional lately.  All of this stress has definitely brought on the depression.  I just hate it.  I hate feeling this way.  I've tried to cope...Today has just been so difficult.  I know I need to do something to distract myself, but all I can do is sit and stare into nothing.  If this lasts a few more days I will call my pdoc.  Ugh, the thought....
Anyway, thanks for reading.  You are all in my thoughts, and I hope none of you are feeling this way right now--althought I know that's probably not realistic.  Many, many hugs.... 

PS--I've updated info below...I am now on Lamictal 325mg/day.  Guess I may still need to up that???

Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed, Risperdal .5mg/day & Lamictal 250 mg/day

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 369
   Posted 12/28/2008 11:06 PM (GMT -7)   
Sorry you are having a rough time mogli.  I think you will do wonderfully at work tomorrow...and I hope that the busyness puts you in a motivated and accomplished frame of mind.  Let your mind rest...sounds like it is busy racing about the stress right now.  You may be right and a pdoc appt. might be needed.  I send my thoughts to your coworker during this horrible time.

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending" ~ Maria Robinson

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 12/29/2008 12:07 PM (GMT -7)   

Big hugs, girl. Hang in there. I'm sorry you're having such a stressful, sad time of it. Give the doc a call. Maybe (s)he'll up your AD to get you through for a few months. Winter is hard and you have a stressful job. I'm sorry the relationship has been rocky too. That's the last thing you need. Give the boy a hug and tell him to shape up.

Take good care of yourself,
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

loving frustrated wife
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 865
   Posted 1/6/2009 10:17 PM (GMT -7)   


Sorry for the late reply. Been out of town for the holidays with family.  I hope this note finds you doing a bit better.  I am sending you BIG HUGS and good thoughts.  BREATHE well for a few something decadent, new and nice for yourself today for 10 minutes and KEEP IT AS YOUR SPECIAL SECRET that is ALL yours for today.  Share it later if you want...but for today, it is ALL YOURS.  HUGS....Hang in there....LFW


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