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Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 156
   Posted 12/31/2008 9:36 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey gang.
Just wanted to tell everyone about the past few days. My wife has had several pretty good days in  a row, some very mild paranoia & anxiety, but no outbursts or irrational behavior. Last week she was saying she was moving out the day after Christmas, haven't heard anything else about it, the apartment app is still laying on the table incomplete. Last night as we were going to bed she was a little anxious, not about anything just tense. She couldn't settle down, she layed there as I scratched her back (this always helps her go to sleep) then out of nowhere she starts telling me how lucky she is to have me & how hard it must be to deal with this & so on. Times like this is why we stay. When they are thinking strait & clear, when they are themselves. The past few days have been great. I know they probably won't last so I am having to soak them up while I can. Like I tell her, when she has good days I get greedy for them, that's why it is so crushing when things fall apart again. I have said before that this is probably like the heartbreak that people go through when they have a parent with Alzheimers. The good days are awsome, then when the bad days come back it is devestating. The good days are there to keep hope alive.
I know that I may be the only one here going through a good spell right now, but I just had to share it with everyone, if nothing else, to put something positive out there & remind you guys that it does happen & when it does it is wonderful. Don't give up, your time may be next
Happy new year to all!

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 76
   Posted 12/31/2008 9:56 AM (GMT -7)   
Dear Rocketman,

I am happy you are enjoying time with your wife.

When things are like this with my husband, those are also the time I hold onto and the reason I stay.

This is a very unfair and cruel illness. Both for the sufferer, and for those who love them. I would do anything to find a cure once and for all.



Rocky Hardplace
Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 1/1/2009 6:57 AM (GMT -7)   
   Hey Rocketman, Well even though I'm on the throes of divorce right now, It is good to read something positive!!! My wife, undiagnosed as of yet, has all the symptoms of bp. It may be something else, hopefully nothing really bad (like bp isnt bad enough) like anything life threatening, but i find comfort here anyway because its exactly what i read about here. (and it just has to be this) i havent been able to get her to go to a pdoc yet, and i may not get the chance as she left a few days ago. this has happened before and im hoping she will want to "work things out again" but it really seems like its for good, which its felt like that before also, but with each new time she makes it harder and harder for us by telling her family things that she believes is true. some things we fight about start with an innocent comment or situation and for some reason she gets it twisted and completely out of text. then it really bothers me to the point where i get mad and once that happens its all the fuel she needs!! i know i need to work on my patience , but man thats hard!!(by the way sorry about my typing< it takes way too long to punctuate and cap when you dont know how to type "properly") i have been able to get us out of situations that normally would have resulted in "divorce" but at times it just seems impossible. but, im still clinging to the hope that she'll be back, but dont really know, and by reading your positive entry i have a little more hope than i had before! it reminded me of all the times like this before and the way that we come back together so strong afterwards! i really love this woman and as bad as it gets, it gets that much better also!!! i pray that we can resolve this, my part of the blame and hers, to get back where we can actually talk without yelling. i am sooo scared to mention i think shes bipolar and suggest her get help and have this start all over again. she has her family convinced that im the "crazy" one and denies she has anything wrong with her other than me...   even though a couple of them told me about bipolar and made me reasearch it. as i matched symptom after symptom i could not believe the similarities . but i did have a talk with her at first where she came clean with knowing something was amiss and we tried a couple different approaches to no results, except for sending her , i think ,  into hypomania! i know i cant diagnose her but its all i have trying to figure this out!!! anyways, im not trying to hijack your thread but i feel my situation is pretty bad and your post still gave me hope!!!  i love this woman dearly and i just cant make myself leave her , as tired of the swings as i am! check out my thread   love , fear and hate. its something i wrote pertaining to that. butr your post was right on time!! im praying for better days right now!! thanks man!!!   Rocky

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 156
   Posted 1/1/2009 9:08 AM (GMT -7)   

Hey Rocky,

Sorry to hear about your situation, been there. She actually did leave one time, went to a hotel, after I kept calling her continually she came back a few hours later, didn't even stay the night there. Hopefully things will turn around for you guys, If you haven't tried it yet, suggest going to couples therapy together, maybe that will get your foot in the door & the counselor will suggest solo therapy for her, and it will definatly help the both of you.  I know it sounds manipulative, but this desease doesn't play fair. I understand how you feel when you say she turns things on you. My wife knows how to push buttons like you wouldn't believe, then when you get past your boiling point, pull the ol switcharoo & turn calm & collective, then you are the one out of control & the one that has a problem. We had a counselor tell us that we need a warning sign, like saying "yellow light" when you recognize things escalating. Tried that a couple of times, guess what happens at a yellow light, yep she mashes the gas. So much for that theory.

Anyway thanks for the reply & again hopefully things will turn back around. Maybe the time by her self will make her see how much you do & care for her & she will come back.

Happy new year to all.

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 1/1/2009 2:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi guys,

Just wanted to chime in and say I'm thinking of you both in both your highs and lows and hope things get better and stay better.

Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

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