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Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 175
   Posted 1/7/2009 12:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Like me, I notice that there is a lot of new people - or people with less than 20 posts.  Does this have something to do with the fact that Christmas just passed? 
Or can someone tell me what brought you here?  Are you just fed up?  Is your spouse newly diagnosed with BD?  Have you reached a crossroad?
Thank you to everyone that comes here because if it wasn't for your similar experiences, I would feel lost in what to do and how to handle this.

falling apart
Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 61
   Posted 1/7/2009 9:51 PM (GMT -7)   
I was thinking the same thing.......I am new, and I noticed from the profiles i read, a lot of us have joined since mid-December. I got here via a google search for "bipolar husband" or "bipolar spouse". I was in search of knowledge, what I found was even better.

I would imagine the holidays may have played a role in us finding our way here at this time.

You asked: Are you just fed up? Is your spouse newly diagnosed with BD? Have you reached a crossroad?

I answer: yes, yes (well the first time he believes it anyway), most definitely YES!

I honestly could not have made it through the last week without this forum! I have gained so much insight, support, comfort and information.

I am saying it so much it may seem insincere, but thank you all for being here! I can't say it enough, thanks!

New Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 1/10/2009 12:46 PM (GMT -7)   
Well I am new. My wife was diagnosed BP about 5 Years ago. I have put up with the spending, ups downs and you all know the rest.
The one thing I was always certain about was she would be holding my hand when I died at the age of 106. The thought that our love would be able to last anything.
We have been married for 28 Years. Every marriage has its ups and downs and I just thought my wife was a little wound "Tight".
We found out about the BP, did a little research and moved on with our lives together.
Recently she was infatuated with a love from High School, used her computer training I taught her and with the help of her brother, met with this guy.
This was all arrainged when I was out of town, they came to our house and the rest is pretty hurtful.
Wife decided she had a better deal staying with me, still loves this other guy with all her heart. Trying to put everything back together but am realizing every relationship has 2 people. One can't be constantly hurt and have a healthy relationship.

So I am fed up, trying to come to terms with where do I draw the line. If she wasn't sick I would be gone. I can't bear the hurt knowing I left her with an illness, If she doesn't have someone to look over her I know she could do some pretty bad things.
The constant lies are hard to deal with. Knowing she is BP, If I say one more lie and I am gone, she will certainly twist that around to her own use.
We have seen a Therapist, he is pretty good, seeing him again in another week.
Just waiting to see where this all ends up.

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 1/10/2009 7:24 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm sorry to hear that DataGuy. You are allowed to have your own needs, morals, and values though. Bipolar doesn't make us unaware of right or wrong, it just encourages us to make bad choices at times. Sounds like your wife made a very bad choice. You are a good man to hold on in spite of that. But don't let it go. Set some limits, by all means, and stick to your guns. Going with the excuse that she's sick and she doesn't know better just enables her. She needs to take responsibility for her illness, her treatment, and her behavior. Actions have consequences. She still knows that, despite the bipolar.

Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

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