LFW!!! & Serafena!!!
Oh my, I am so touched, really. I am so sorry that I didn't see this post sooner...I really need to be here more often, for my own sanity and for the support of all of you. My apologies.
Definitely had a huge depression over the holidays, it was terrible. It was the third episode in a 6 month time frame. Just went to the pdoc today, how ironic that you wanted an update!
I wish I had great news, but my meds just aren't doing the trick. Although I haven't had another episode of depression, I am still cycling and the depression (modertate) is usually with me. We've been increasing the Risperdal and the Lamictal, but pdoc thinks the Lamictal is causing the cycling. At least upping the Risperdal to 1mg has helped with my sleep at night. So, today he said for me to go back down to 350mg of Lamictal (currently at 375 for the past 3 weeks) and maybe even back down to 325mg/day. He said if I crash to call him, otherwise I have my next appt in three weeks.
Work has been brutal. The stress is unreal, and unrelenting. I have been searching for another job in my field, with no results. Love the work I'm in, just the place I'm working at has major issues.
Relationship--has been pretty good lately, although it usually is......unless I crash. I was depressed last Sunday and told him how I was feeling and he ending up making me laugh, and feel extra loved all day, which brought me all the way up to stable. The last episode I had though was awful. He made it clear how he feels about the meds (that I shouldn't be taking them) and we got into a huge debate, which was detrimental to the state I was already in. Fighting for myself, the fact that I need the meds, without them who knows where I would be....I was just beside myself with anger towards him over this. It just showed me that he truly doesn't understand the illness (treatment = lifestyle changes + meds) (depression episode = T.L.C. time, not fight time) I couldn't believe he was attacking my decision to take medicine while I was so vulnerable and emotional. It was just awful. I relied on Crisis & my pdoc to help me though that last episode. I pretty much do that with all my episodes. Even today, my pdoc acknowledged how I was feeling the last time I was there, and that he was glad to see I wasn't at that point today at least, and his focus is on making sure I don't crash again. It felt good to be in the same room with someone who gets it.
Anyway, woo! If I keep typing about that issue, we'll be here all night!
Still gearing up to start YOGA! I will be posting once I start to let you know how that's going. It has to help tremendously I am sure. On a relaxation note, I've been taking lots of bubble baths in the new bathroom and listening to nature music...I've defintetly kicked my relaxation up a notch over the last couple of months.
You are all in my thoughts and I'm going to end this now so I can read up on how everyone else is coping. Much love and please reply with an update of your own.