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falling apart
Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 61
   Posted 1/24/2009 12:46 AM (GMT -7)   
I am really hoping that NOW we are on the road to recovery!

My husband and I went to see a new psychiatrist today. This is the first time in 5 years (barring the hospital stay last week) that he has sought the help of a psychiatrist for his disorder. He has only seen GPs on and off to treat the depressed phases of his bipolar. Those treatment plans either didn't last or didn't work.

We spent 2 hours on the couch exploring all his symptoms........I was so glad to be in there with him to understand how he perceives his symptoms. I was never in tune with his manic side before November, so it was enlightening to hear how it makes him feel. He actually feels "normal" when he is manic (which is most of the time apparently). Only when he is at the extreme end of one of the poles does he recognize something is wrong. And even still, when his manic is extreme, he feels like things are out of whack, but it is "us and not him" who has the problem.

Long story short, this new p-doc took him off Effexor (he is weaning off in 3 days). This was music to my ears!!!!! He is keeping him on Depakote and introducing Lithium after some blood work is done. He also prescribed a sleep aid (Ambien). Hopefully this will reset his clock and get him sleeping nights and productive during the day.

I felt so much compassion for my husband sitting on the p-doc couch. I actually held his hand and stroked his arm. I never thought I would feel compelled to touch him affectionately again. We did not get into the infidelity issues at this session, which was better because it kept the angry, bitter wife inside me at bay. I hope he will start coming to my therapy sessions every so often so we can work on that. My goal today was to get him STRABILIZED. We have the rest of our lives to try and sort out all the garbage that has occurred.

The kids have stayed with my sister in law tonight, so it is just the 2 of us at home. I am still not ready to join him in the bedroom, but at least he knows I am here with him. That will keep him from feeling abandoned and lonely.

I pray that this is a turning point for us! I know that only time will tell. I will still be on guard for some time -- waiting for the other shoe to drop, but I am back to being hopeful now. I am a bit anxious -- but almost in a good way -- about how this new medicine combination will work. I feel like a kid eying a wrapped present just waiting for the day I am allowed to open it to see what is inside.

Okay, no more rambling.......I am glad that I waited until now to update what was going on, because the last week has been a nightmare! I am glad I am able to type something positive for a change!!!

Love y'all!

happy bill
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 1/24/2009 4:31 AM (GMT -7)   


   This sounds a lot what like my wife and i went thru so good luck and i hope it helps him calm his inner demons this time. There is no magic bullet for this disorder, what works well for one may not work well for others. But there is a grain of hope  in that statement also, there are  a variety of drugs that may offer him some relief.

    My wife told me that it was easier for her to let go the "angry wife" once i was diagnosed with BP. Allthough hurt by my actions she understood that i wasnt in my right mind. That being said it was up to me to get help and to stick with it. Thats where i earn my forgivness every day.

   I was the same as your hubby, manic was my default setting. I couldnt envision a different way to live since this was the only way i knew. The hardest part for me was to "let go" and trust that there was something wrong with me. Sounds simple but trust me, no one wants to find out they are BP.

   Well good luck, hopefully the fact that my wife and i are still together, doing very well now that i am on medicine, will help you thru this difficult time. There is always hope.


falling apart
Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 61
   Posted 1/24/2009 6:42 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you Bill! Your words are very encouraging. I hope my husband will one day feel as you do. If he does stick with the help he has sought, he, too will earn my forgiveness every day. And I will be here to help him do just that. The diagnosis won't necessarily keep the "angry wife" away, but his commitment to getting better certainly will. I am working on that through my therapist, but I still have a long way to go.

Hope is what is keeping our marriage afloat right now! So , once again, thank you for your has just buoyed us up a bit higher in the water!

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 156
   Posted 1/24/2009 7:23 AM (GMT -7)   


That is such great news! Isn't it such a great feeling when things visibly start to turn around. There is nothing like a glimmer of hope after you have been hopeless for a long time. The re-energizing feeling that you get is incredible! I hope this becomes a long term thing for you guys & he doesn't do the I'm fine thing & stop treatment. Hopefully there are tons of good days ahead for you.

Have a great weekend!



"The struggles make you stronger, and the changes make you wise, and happiness has it's own way of taking it's sweet time.
Gary Allan- From "Life Ain't Always Beutiful"

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 175
   Posted 1/24/2009 8:03 AM (GMT -7)   
That really is a step in a more positive direction isn't it!? That's so great. I was just going to say - don't hold your breath for too long. Enjoy your time with him while you can and if/when another episode happens, deal with it then. I have all this stuff I'm going to say to my husband when that other shoe drops, (the angry bitter wife syndrome trying to detach with love) but when it's good, I just let it be good. Those times are so few and far between that when he wants to curl up with me on the couch, dam-mit if i'm not going to curl up with him on the couch!!!
Doesn't mean you have to be intimate with him but maybe let your guard down..... just a tiny bit and enjoy this time.

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do."

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 1/24/2009 11:11 AM (GMT -7)   
Oh, such good news. Even the step to see a psych is a huge deal. Two hours of discussing his symptoms with a doctor is a big step, and to finally be heard, to finally have someone prescribe a mood stabilizer, these are really positive changes. I hope he felt some comfort after the appointment too. It would have felt like a large unburdening to me, but I'm obviously not your husband. And it was so good of you to stand beside him, even after such a terrible week. You deserve an award.

Be cautiously optimistic. This is a good thing.

Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

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