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New Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 1/27/2009 8:15 PM (GMT -7)   
My wife that is suffering from BP upped her dose on her meds today and I have been very supportive I have let her stay in bed most of the day I did all the prep work for dinner homemade beef stew so that all she had to do is get up and put it all together and add seasonings and she made herself a sandwich for lunch. We have 4 children 2 of which are home all day the other 2 at school so I was with the younger 2 all day. she got up for about a total of 5 hours all day and then asked me to do her homework online and turn it in. when I told her no she tryed to pull the guilt trip and then got really mad. I know that some or all of that was the BP talking but I still feel bad. Was I wrong for drawing the line at homework after I gave her breakfast in bed and had been running around for her and the children all day? or am I just worrying to much about not being supportive enough to her while she is getting her meds straight.

Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 146
   Posted 1/27/2009 9:17 PM (GMT -7)   

its not in my position to say if you were wrong or right. however, it sounds to me as if you are doing your very best to make her comfortable while she is undergoing her med change. my parents help me out a lot because of my bp, but sometimes i want to do some stuff on my own, and when i do, i tell them. maybe she isnt ready to tackle these challenges yet. the homework may seem trivial, but for her it could be a huge mountain to climb right now. just do your best to support her the best you can but leave some room to take care of yourself as well.

best of luck and stay well,


Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 125
   Posted 1/28/2009 6:16 AM (GMT -7)   
It usually doesn't take that long for the drowsiness from the increased medication to go away unless some of the medication is causing drowsiness. It is better not to get your wife used to being dependent on you else she will expect you to do her chores all the time. I took a week off work when my medication was changed but after that I was back on track.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 32
   Posted 1/28/2009 7:12 AM (GMT -7)   
I'll echo what shebsy said.

Early on I took everything over and it became the standard. In hindsight, it was probably a big mistake. Maybe you need to let her ease back in but make sure she does. Until I started reading these forums, I thought that was a normal thing. Reading how the people here soldier through has really given me perspective. Props to all of you who do it.

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 1/28/2009 8:02 AM (GMT -7)   
Homework? No. Absolutely not. You're doing too much already. She needs to get out of bed and take some responsibility for her life. I'm sorry if I sound cruel, but it's the truth. It's too easy to use the bipolar as an excuse. If she's that depressed, then it's good for her to get out of bed and at least make the effort to spend a day being partially normal. If she's so depressed she can't do her homework, she's got to talk to her professor about getting an extension for her work. But SHE has to do these things, you can't do them for her. If you do, you are only prolonging her illness, because depression only gets better as the person takes control of their life and strives to improve. Medication alone doesn't do it. It was good of you to put your foot down. It may be hard and you may have fights, but put your foot down a little more. Make her take responsibility.

Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

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