A friend...need advice

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Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 1470
   Posted 1/31/2009 10:08 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey everyone! I have a 21 year old friend who has been diagnosed with bipolar and skitafrenia. She was doing well until about 4 months ago. She stopped taking her meds and now She has fallen off the deep end. She is living on the streets because if she stays with her friends or family she makes their life a living hell. Please exuse my language on that but she really does. She has been put in the hospital 4 times in the last 2 months only to check herself out and tells everyone that they have the problem that she is perfectly fine. I mean she drove to Durham from charlotte to "drop" a friend off and after she dropped her friend off had a nervous breakdown, abondend her car, broke into a water plant and had the police called on her. The police drove her around to try and find her car and to this day no one can find her car. This happend about 3 weeks ago. She is drawing stick figure art and says that it is gonna be an a exibit because it is the best art work ever. She also is under the impression that she has gotten a record deal in California for her singing which I can gaurentee you she didnt. She quit her jobs so now she is jobless, carless, homeless, been quicked out of dental hygentist school but yet is the happiest I have ever seen her. She keeps harrasing the banks to get a loan out to get a new car and doesnt understand why they won't approve her. She asked me to co-sign a car with her but I just can't take that risk expecially since there is a huge chance she could do the same thing with a new car with what she did with her old car. I actually met her through my job and last week she came up to work and was just hanging out at the building harrasing people until Human Resources finally had to call the police and have her escorted off the property. There is so much more I can say but I think you get the jest of what is going on. Does anyone know anything I can do to help her? When she is on her meds she really is a great person/friend! I want to help her so bad I just have never dealt with anything like this. Her mom doesnt seem to give a crap what is going on with her as long as her daughter doesnt bring her into any of this mess. I don't understand how a mother could just turn on their daughter like that. Advice please and thank you in advance!
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Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 125
   Posted 2/1/2009 1:51 AM (GMT -7)   
Can you convince your friend to see a psychiatrist or stay in a hospital till she gets medicated? Please explain to her that she is going through a psychotic/ hypomanic phase. You can show her the symptoms of mania on a piece of paper (downloaded from the internet) and ask her to check those that apply to her. You can ask her to do some research on the internet or in a library on hypomanic behaviour. Maybe she will come to the conclusion that there is something wrong with her and that she needs to be medicated. You are a great friend for sticking out with her through her hypomania. All my friends conveniently disappeared during my bad phase. If your friend has suicidal or homicidal ideation, you can get her hospitalized. Otherwise, you just have to be persistent in explaining to her that there is something wrong with her life and that it can be improved if she takes medication. Tell her that the banks might give her a loan if she takes her medicine.

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Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 2/1/2009 6:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi aimsgirl16,

Welcome to the bipolar board. Glad you joined us. You are such a good friend to even try and stick by your friend in such a messy situation. She really needs to see a doctor and get on some meds. That's really all there is to it. And not you or anyone else can force her to do that. As you can see, she can check herself right out of a hospital. It's going to take her realizing that there is something not right with her life and wanting to make it better. Unfortunately mania can feel good, even as it destroys your life. Shebsy had a good suggestion of printing out some info on bipolar and presenting it to her. You could also list the things about her life that worry you and what you want her to have be better: the homelessness, the poverty, the joblessness... And for goodness sake DO NOT cosign a loan. Bipolars (and I speak as one myself) are NOTORIOUSLY bad with money.

Try and convince her to get to a doctor. You may not be able to rescue this woman, but maybe you can convince her to take care of herself a little better.

Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

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