Shift in brain?

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New Member

Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 2/1/2009 11:54 AM (GMT -7)   
I was recently diagnosed with bipolar type II.  It sounds a bit weird.. may be a lil off, but I feel almost like a switch is going off in my brain, like I can detect almost when depression is coming for no reason at all or when super hyper, intense feelings will be sprouting.  When I feel depression coming I get headaches and my head feels like its filling up with water... I cannot concentrate to my full potential, barely even.  I don't know if its me just knowing my body, or if its almost set to some clock with these "episodes" but I'm considereing logging it into a diary.  Unfortunately I was having some health issues where I had to be taken off my medication and have to be screened to make sure I am physically healthy.  Getting off a new medication right when it started working has taken me for a ride to say the least.  After getting off the medication, I have been taking vitamins and drinking teas to calm down my anxiety (also have panic disorder) and trying to get a healthy sleep pattern.  Once again I am frustrated with trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle and STILL feeling so ... unhealthy.  I'm curious as to bipolar disorder in women, does it affect hormones at all?  Does anyone know?  Also, has anyone felt this switch/shift in their brain?  I feel like tiny bolts are electrocuting my thoughts.  I'm probably being melodramatic, but its hard for me to express what my brain/body feel like during these periods.  When I look back at things I'm doing, decisions I'm making it almost feels like I'm looking into a different person's life.  One day I can go from being a social butterfly and making a whole room laugh to be the one who can't even leave her room let alone her own bed.  Its been extremely difficult with those who love and care for me.  I've had many people leave my life because of it and openly express so.  That its too much for them to deal with.  Has anyone had to deal with this?  Has anyone found themselves being super reckless or doing things that they wouldn't normally do during a different episode?  It's almost like I have no regard for consequences sometimes when I'm so impulsive.  I speak much faster and it seems like the words just fly out of my mouth.  My username is electrogirl because of a book I read ELECTROBOY about a man with bipolar disorder.  I guess I want a woman's perspective as well.  Sorry so many questions!  I want to hear experiences!  I guess that's why most of us are on this site...  =)

Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 125
   Posted 2/1/2009 12:39 PM (GMT -7)   
I have never felt the switch in my brain. The mod swings are part of the disorder. It is common to be reckless, impulsive and to talk faster during a hypomanic phase. I have had many people dump me because of the disorder. I have dumped 2-3 people who started throwing attitude after they found out I had bipolar. There are plenty of ignorant, impatient and mean people out there. It is important for a person to be patient and understanding when they are dealing with someone with bipolar. I think there is a book called "An Unquiet Mind" which talks about a woman's experiences with bipolar.

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 2/1/2009 5:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi electrogirltm,

Welcome to HealingWell and to the bipolar board. I hope we can satisfy your interests! I've heard of the book Electroboy, but I've never read it. What did you like about it?

I've found that one thing about being a woman and being bipolar is that some of the mood swings are almost expected of you because you are a woman. Does that make sense? In other words, I get treated like a child sometimes, like a big, moody child, because I am a bipolar woman. Oh, it's hard to explain. That's by my close family. My more distant family treat it like something freakish and try not to speak of it. I definitely can relate to being a social butterfly one day and bed-bound the next. And it gets tougher when you have responsibilities and people expect you to get up and care for them: children and husbands and so forth. I think I am the one who has trouble maintaining friendships because of my bipolar -- I don't have the energy to do it.

Hope that's helpful. It's nice to have you aboard.

Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

angel tears
New Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 2/5/2009 8:27 PM (GMT -7)   
I a am new hear but have been reading this board for a long time.  All I can say is I've gotten down on my knees and
prayed for all of you people, those of you with bipolar disorder and your families who love you so much.  Life is not
fair although I feel there is some reason (whatever it may be) why there is so much suffering.  I feel that all of our
spirits come from god and do not choose the vessel they inhabit. Unfortunately, some of our poor souls are inhabiting
disfunctional bodies with whacked out chemistry/hormones and short circuits in the brain.  I have never been diagnosed
with bipolar disorder but I was hospitalized once about 30 years ago with severe depressionand I will never forget how I felt.  It was a total feeling of hopelessness and I had feelings about life in general and its purpose- we live, we love, we have children,they have children, we lose people we love and then the ultimate end-we die.  I could not see the purpose of life in general because it just seemed like infinite hopeless cycle.  I detached myself from my family because I could not bear the thought of being separated from the people I loved.  I wanted life to end because it was just going to happenometime down the road anyway.  Thank God for medications- without these I do not believe I could have gone on
and raised my children and taken care of my huband after he was hospitalized for a month and cared for my elderly
father for three months in our home before he died.  I am now the caregiver of my 88 year old diabetic mother.
The seretonin levels in my brain were severely low and once they were elevated through the meds I saw things
in a whole new perspective.  I see now that life does have a purpose and we should never give up on those we love
because if my loved ones had given up on me I would not be here today. I feel that our spirits are invincible and that
we all will meet in another place.  I feel their will be forgiveness towards those who have hurt us because we will realize
that it is only the vessel we inhabit that suffered pain and our spirit cannot be touched.  Science may find a break-
through some day to cure diseases like bipolar disorder.  I also experienced anxiety disorder and panic attacks
during another phase of my life (around menopause) and again was put on medication.  There is nothing worse than
mental pain, I know.  I would much rather go through 100 childbirths than have a brain that will not turn off and let
you rest.  I took zoloft and ambien.  The zoloft seemed to help the anxiety but I could not sleep and my head would
buzz when I tried to close my eyes tight.  The ambien did help with the sleep, although I did take a little too much
one time and ended up on the floor.  Dr's say these two episodes in my life were chemical/hormonal imbalances
brought on by stress.  Bipolar disorder is so much more complex because the brain is changing all the time.  My son-
in-law is bipolar and left my daughter again for the umteenth time.  I can see the man she loves, a sweet, sensitive
loving guy and then all of a sudden he turns into a robot and says he doesn't love her.  When he's going through
the depression he loves her again.  This time I think he is gone for good because he had a very manic attack and he
will not take medication.  He was on lithium for about a year and quit drinking and seemed perfectly normal.  It's
sad that the mania makes people think they are ok again.  It is so sad, because these people want to feel loved and
give love like anyone else but are unable to at times. I'd like some feedback from bipolar males out there- if you've left
your wife during mania, do you ever think of her or is it hard to remember those times.  what would you recommend
a spouse to do when you leave. My son-in-law attacks my daughter for nothing and it makes it worse if she keeps her
mouth shut and tries to ignore the attacks. She knows he can't help it and that is why she has stayed with him. I
thought some of these marriages on the rocks could be saved if the two lived in separate places (if feasible)  to alleviate
tension on the part of both partners, that way the bipolar partner would have a calm environment and would not
get as stressed out over everyday problems.  After all, when people are dating and not living together they seem to
get along better, it's when they move in together that the problems begin.  what would you suggest to save a marriage
such as this? My daughter says bipolar people need love too, in fact her husband is looking for someone else right
now- he doesn't believe she is the right person for him.  I know he will not stay with any one woman for long because
of his inability to feel love at times.  Most women will not stay in the game as long as my daughter has- six years.  
I don't mean to sound cruel-just really need to be educated. If you are bipolar, I would appreciate any feedback on
your feelings, how the people who love you can help you through your crises.  Thank you.

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 2/6/2009 9:16 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Angeltears,

Welcome to HealingWell and the bipolar board.

I'm sorry to hear about your daughter and son-in-law. That's terrible. It is all too common with mania though, as you have figured out. He needs to get back on his medicine and be stable again, but that won't happen unless he crashes (which will happen eventually -- and he will probably come back to your daughter when that happens) or your daughter convinces him to come home and get back on his meds. I don't know if he has and contact with her.

You're right that your daughter has put up with it for a long time. Maybe she needs to consider how much longer she wants to put up with it. It's quite likely this will happen again. But she's a good woman for waiting it out. It's true bipolars need love.

Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

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