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New Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 2/9/2009 11:27 PM (GMT -7)   

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I  have been married to my wife for 11 years. I knew that she always had to have some kind of problems,because of her upbringing.

My wife was molested when she was just 4 years old,mentaly and phisicly all tru her teenage years also. I didn't find all of this out untill after we were married oh about a year.I guess it took her that long to feal she could realy trust me. It all started with her being unfaithfull to me for me to really know that she had a big problem witch I know know was the bd. She also has mood disorders,and post tramatic stress syndrome.
She would bold face lie and I would catch her doing it over and over. It took alot for me not to leave her and divorice. If I knew that she was doing it willingly I would have left and saved myself alot of heartace. It took me sticking with it and telling her over and over that she needs to go see a doctor to finally get her started on meds to control her. I didn't really know what I was geting into tho.
I took her to our family doctor to treat her and she was doing go for a while, but man did she take me for a ride when she went down.
She found something out about her dad one day when I was at work and that did it. She calls me out of no where screaming and crying out of control.(And I mean I was scared to death) she told me to get home as soon as I can that she had something awfull to tell me.
I couldn't understand how she could get so upset over some little thing. I come in the door and she has wrote allover her arm's face,and her leg's with a ink pen. I was floored. to come in and see your wife that you love acting like she has lost her mind. the thing of it is she didn't want anybody to know about what she did like she knew it wasn't right in some way,but couldn't understand it at the moment.After we got thru that she has been pretty well mantained for the most part other than her temper. She get's so mad over the littlest thing's,and I mean screaming mad. Sometimes I will just get the truck keys and take a drive to let her calm down, If not It will go on forever.
It wasn't untill a week and two days ago that she lost it again. Her mother had been dealing with cancer for a little more than a year. She passed away a week and two day's ago from brain cancer. I know it's only normal to be very upset and, will take a logn time to get over even for me. I took her to the hospital to she her mother after she had passed and I had to phisicly drag her away from her mothers body. the whole way home she was talking about how she wanted to go with her. That really freaked me out,but we went ahead and went home. She was uncontrolable. There was nothing I could do. I even called my parents to get advice. After about an hr she said I don't know how to do this and that struck a nerve with me so I said what do you mean. She started talking about suicide.
I took her emideatly to the er and they checked her in for a 72 hr. stay to change her meds. I am really glad that I did that because she is a totaly different person more like the one I first married. I do have a question tho how long does it take for her body to get in tune with the new med's?  I just found out a week ago that she is bd and all the others. anyone that has any advice I could use it.

Post Edited (hotmail) : 2/9/2009 11:35:25 PM (GMT-7)

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 156
   Posted 2/10/2009 7:19 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey hotmail;
Welcom to our forum. You wil find a lot of the support you need here. This forum has helped me tons in dealing with
my wifes BP. Before I came here & talked to others who were in the almost identical situation, I felt like I was never
going to get thru it because there was nobody out there that could possibly be going thru what I was. Boy was I wrong!
I have met so many wonderful people here that have the same experiances, just knowing that alone helps treendously.
Something you can get used to hearing from the other spouces is "I could have written your post myself". Although all
of our situations are unique, the characteristics & behaviours this condition creates are very similar.
As for your wife & her condition right now. You did the right thing by taking her to the er. Now she is somwhere safe
and where they can observe her & get her meds straitened out. You will probably still have a rough time when she gets
back home, so be prepared. Not trying to sound negative, I just don't want you to make the same mistake I did the first
time my wife came home from the hospital. I thougt that everything would be great, she would be "cured" & life would be
more normal again. But it wasn't, she was back in the hospital within a month. The big thing will be her taking her meds
the way she is supposed to & staying on the treatment plan they give to her. Support her the best you can, but
understand that she has to do this herself. You can encourage & support all you want, but if she doesn't want it for
herself, then it isn't going to happen.
Take care & keep cheking in, we will try to help as best we can.
"The struggles make you stronger, and the changes make you wise, and happiness has it's own way of taking it's sweet time.
Gary Allan- From "Life Ain't Always Beutiful"

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 2/10/2009 10:10 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi hotmail,

Let me echo Rocketman and welcome you to HealingWell and to the forum. I'm sorry to hear you've lost your mother in law and on top of that you've got your wife going through a terrible episode as well. I agree with Rocketman. This will probably not be over when she gets out of the hospital. Most mood stabilizers take at least a month to 6 weeks to build up in the blood stream so you've got a bit of a wait. Just be encouraging and help her to remember to take her drugs. She could use some counseling too, if you can encourage that as well.

I know it's hard to watch someone you love change before your eyes and do scary things. She will be okay as long as she has proper care. Just see that she sees a psychiatrist regularly (once a month or so) and try to get her into therapy. It's hard to be supportive when bipolars are unmedicated and doing irresponsible and hurtful things. But if you want to hang in there, be honest with her and be ready for some hard times. She will stabilize eventually. It probably won't ever be back to "normal" but it will be better.

Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

New Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 2/10/2009 7:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank's for the reply. It really does help to have people to talk to about this. I have talked her in to seeing a counseler. We are going friday. I am allways honest with her so she knows how I feal. I've told her I'm in it for the long haul. I really hope this counseling will help,because Im going with her. Again I want to say thank's I can tell this is going to help me alot.
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