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Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 60
   Posted 2/10/2009 10:25 AM (GMT -7)   
What's wrong with me? I love this up mania. It feel like I just snorted coke. Like I have been snorting for a week. I have gotten so much done, Little susie homemaker thats me and I never clean or orgenize. Why am I doing this> I am taking my medicine and called my shrink they tripled my bipolar meds and told me to come in the emergency room for an evaluation to come in the LOCKED WARD to get regulated. How I loath some of the people that are in their, Like the ones that are violent or don not wash or are rude or threatining, Once someone threw an orang e soda at me LOL I do not want to go I cannot bring my heating pad because you cannot bring cords you might hand your self along with shoelaces of corse. Im so upset all I can do is cry. They will probebly flat line me and I hate that It is so boring and then Im not even funny or happy anymore It is like I turn into a non-emotional zombie with no emotion what so ever. Actually when I think about bipolar suck big time and I happen to be ashamed and guilty and feel like a defective person like I should be uthenized or something . Put away like my sister said. 20 yr old son said Im having an episode. Husband of 25 yrs is cluless but is having co-nip-tion fits before. I already went into the emergency room for an eval and they sent me home with ativan. I am lost. Running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Do not know where to begin now. I know I am just sad now. sad for myself that i have to go in a locked ward and can't smoke when I want and eat crappy food. No computer is what I'll really miss. and the library too. I feel so sorry for my self right now I am wallowing in self pity. I can't even read any responces if I get any if they admit me on a 72 hour hold. I better go now Buh-bye. I still do not know how to get ahold of an adminastrator so I can change my sorry screen name to lakewinds.
Bipolor, Depression,Hyponitremia, allergies,,non-hodgenkins lymphoma in 1990 chronic pain, and now acute pain from another riding accident left me with 2 more broken vertebrea but in thorasic area, and plenty of allergies, but an animal lover and another of 3 young men and married 25 years.

Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 125
   Posted 2/12/2009 1:59 AM (GMT -7)   
Dear lakewinds,

Please do not think you need to be euthanized or put away. Having bipolar does not make you defective. I do not consider myself defective despite the crap I hear from my relatives. I think people who say mean things about bipolar people need to be put away themselves for being such cruel people. Everyone is entitled to an opinion!

I have been in a psychiatric ward once and I hated the experienced. There were drug addicts and rude people around me. One told me my breasts were too large (I wear 34B and am quite petite). I was disgusted and pledged never to end up in one again. Now I have become good at monitoring myself. I get my medication increased or decreased depending upon my mood. I can reach my psychiatrist anytime so that is a plus.

Hope your experience is not too bad. Do share it with us.


New Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 2/16/2009 7:14 AM (GMT -7)   
it's not your fault, i know it's hard but you should feel better, i know in time you will. just think that you will be out soon there and you will be renewed, you will feel good about yourself and appreciate yourself. my bipolar is getting betting good, i take vilift, my experience with vilift is good, no side effects.
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