Panicking (UPDATE)

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Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 125
   Posted 3/8/2009 10:22 AM (GMT -7)   
I had to sign my job contract today. I panicked when I read the terms and conditions. The last time I quit my job after giving a day's notice because I went into a depressive psychosis (my doctor got me off antipsychotics and I had a relapse). I am so scared I won't be able to hold this job. I have been at home for the last eight months cooking and cleaning and I don't know how I will adjust to a job in a fashionable art gallery. Doesn't help that I am horribly depressed these days and my anti-depressants haven't started showing the desired effect. I am freaking out. Someone please help.

Post Edited (shebsy) : 3/10/2009 2:15:52 PM (GMT-6)

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 3/9/2009 8:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi shebsy,

I'm sorry it's been so long since I was online. You are going to be fine. You are correct -- you are just panicking. This is going to be such a good thing for you. Take it slow, take it easy, learn a few names each day. Don't pressure yourself to be perfect. Just do the best you can at a pace which feels comfortable for you. You're thinking of the last time you got depressed and assuming the same thing will happen. That is not necessarily true. This is a wholly different environment. You may come to really enjoy this. Take a deep breath and keep an open ming.

Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 369
   Posted 3/9/2009 8:49 PM (GMT -7)   
I believe that this job will be a good thing for you. You are right, you are just panicking. Try and tell yourself that you are just hyping yourself up, and that you are going to enjoy yourself!
"Just because you're in the driver's seat, doesn't mean
you have to run people over." ~ Fred Pausch

Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 125
   Posted 3/10/2009 1:19 PM (GMT -7)   
I went to work today feeling nervous. My boss was really nice. His assistant is really cute and I managed to have a crush on someone after a very long time. Everything went well till I came back home and fell asleep. I woke up crying and cried for 2 hours. I guess that has something to do with my depression. I am taking anti-depressants and all my medication but sometimes the depression won't go away. So I guess the panicking was unnecessary. Serafena, you were right, I had to constantly remind myself that I wasn't going to a toxic workplace and this was going to be different. It seems like it is different. I hope it remains that way.
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