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New Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 3/26/2009 8:59 AM (GMT -7)   
I've never been very confident about my appearance and I was always conscious about certain aspects. For example I have dark hairs on my arms. I remember a comment a boy made at school when I was 9 years of age and I went home and shaved them. I was very self conscious as a teenager too. But I guess I grew into myself and became a bit more comfortable. I'm 24 now.
The thing is I met a guy recently. We went on holidays together and while we were there he made comments about my body which got to me. I didn't really dwell on them there coz I wanted to enjoy the sun. But when I got back home the thoughts started picking my brain every waking moment. And I've cried about it and have started to feel down. I met him again last month and he pointed out the hairs above my lip (which i dye) and wrinkles around my eyes. I nearly started crying but kept it together.
Now I've started to feel conscious about these things which had lain dormant for so long. I do like him but he seems to be very appearance oriented. I know I'm not perfect but I do like how I look most days.Oh and that's another point. I do a very good job on my own putting myself down. I dont need some newbie throwing in his share.
I'm just wondering if I should say anything to him?

Post Edited (Denzel) : 3/26/2009 10:43:22 AM (GMT-6)

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 59
   Posted 3/26/2009 2:21 PM (GMT -7)   
His comments are affecting your well being. It seems to me that you should say something to him about the impact of the comments, perhaps he doesn't realize that they are damaging. (He may assume that he is making "motivating" comments, we guys are kinda dumb about these things) If he truly cares for you he will change his behavior.

olivia of course
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1523
   Posted 3/26/2009 2:24 PM (GMT -7)   

I am sorry about the situation you are going through. I am quite sure there are a lot of people who feel as you do about themselves. We are our own worst critic, and to have someone else point out things they find wrong with us just makes us feel worse about ourselves. Those were very insensitive things he said, but could there be worse comments in the future, and how much are you willing to put up with?

I just thought I should point that out because if he made comments like that after meeting you, I can promise you that there will be more in the future. You should mention how they are affecting you and if he stops with the comments, then see where things go. Plus you want to be with someone who makes you feel good about yourself and not someone who makes you want to cry.

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Only by seeking challenges can we hope to find the best in ourselves. ~Robert Rodriguez

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Post Edited (olivia of course) : 3/26/2009 3:27:27 PM (GMT-6)

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