frustrated at myself

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Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 175
   Posted 3/31/2009 4:22 PM (GMT -7)   
last night my dh was acting weird. i couldn't wake him successfully this morning so i decided to do a pill count... turns out he took 4 ativan (though 8 were missing he says he only took 4) and 14 percocet throughout the day (where he's only supposed to have 8). i'm just frustrated because i let my guard down. things have been going good and i just feel like i'm never going to just relax and feel like he's being responsible. i know that he's taking his grandfather's death and now the news of his nan really hard, but why didn't i see it?
ps, he slept until about 2 this afternoon and went to bed at like 8 last night.  i was able to get him to "wake up" a couple times, but he zonked right back out.  i just needed to make sure he'd wake up!
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed
by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do."

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 44
   Posted 3/31/2009 6:40 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm sorry :(

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 369
   Posted 4/1/2009 2:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Do not put all of the blame on yourself. Your husband should be being a little more proactive in being a responsible patient. That is one thing I have done faithfully since day 1 of my take my meds. I do not want to go back to that hole I was in 2 years ago. It was scarey. But maybe the recent losses is affecting your husband more than he would like to admit. But his self medicating by overdosing should be brought up to his pdoc. Remember that you can only do so much for him...he needs to start taking responsibility for his health too.
"Just because you're in the driver's seat, doesn't mean
you have to run people over." ~ Fred Pausch

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 223
   Posted 4/4/2009 1:51 PM (GMT -7)   
I feel bad for you!  You monitor your husband like my husband monitors me.  He will say to me after a bad episode like this last one,( took a few to many ativan and shaved my hair off, and do not remember the whole thing) that he wishes I could always be as stable I have been over the last few days, it is like we just snap out of it.  That is why I know it is hard on you, but if your want to be with your husband it takes a lot of love, and that is what it sounds like, and it is ok to get upset with us, we understand deep down.  Please continure to use the chat board and vet all your stressors.  cool

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 4/4/2009 1:56 PM (GMT -7)   
He needs to talk about this incident with a doc or a therapist. Is he seeing either? He's suffering and if he's not careful he could really damage himself. You can't be responsible for watching over him 24/7, but if he's that depressed, he needs more professional intervention.

Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

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