Hello~ My husband and I was married October 16, 2008, after a very rocky engagement. He has cheated on me, would continue emailing, texting, sending & receiving nude pictures from other women, before we was married. He no longer has text or pix messaging on his phone, and can only use the internet while I am home. Due to his spending sprees, and writing bad checks, he is only allowed spending cash. I have four kids that are with us full time, and he has 2 kids that are with us every other weekend. On Oct. 19th he hit rock bottom, after being gone all night, me not know where he was, he was behind the wheel and very mad at the world. He returned home flung a grocery bag out the window saying they was shells, and he had his guns, then took off again. He returned about
20 minutes later shotgun in hand, knocking on the door, I looked thru the window saw what he was doing, he was loading the gun! He wanted me to watch him commit suicide! I called 911, so scared that I would hear the "bang", he heard me talking to the dispatcher, so he ran to his car and took off, he was drunk, with a loaded gun & now behind the wheel! God was really looking down on us that day, and pretty much placed him into the policemen's hands, he gave up without a fight, was aressted for DWI, and driving while suspended. He was in jail over night, and I knew he would be released in the morning! That really scared me knowing what he had just put me through, so I filled out papers to have him comitted. It was something I had to do for my safety, and my kids'. He was in the hospital 3 days, they started him on Trazodone and celexa. The trazodone helped him sleep, for awhile but then he started having night mares. I felt so alone, still do at times. I would try to reach out to his counselor for help on what to do during his episodes, all she would say is "I will document it, and discuss it with him at our next meeting "WOW thank you so much, I would be in tears talking to her, and nothing! After his hospital stay, the next time he was scheduled to see his Doctor wasn't for 3 MONTHS, yes 3! 3 VERY long months!
One night in December I called the hospital they recommended for me to bring him in for a med change, had to get him to agree to it! They put him on seroquel, wrong choice for him wow! Got him off that. He finally got in to see his doctor, he put him on Lamictal in January. Me still feeling VERY alone, I finally got help when I called and talked to one of the doctor's nurses at the mental health center, she has been a blessing! She got him back in to see the doctor in Feb. due to all his episodes. He has a court advocate due to him being comitted, she called one morning on his cell phone that he left in the van due to him being so mad at me, I answered it, she asked how things was going, well she got the whole story, so she was at the appointment in feb. with the doctor & nurse that has been a blessing. His lamictal was increased. Recently they put him on Zyprexa also, and took him off the Trazodone. We got him a new counselor, the other one wasn't helpful at all, but the wait to see him is a long wait! It is a shame how long it takes to see a mental health doctor or counselor, we was falling thru the crackes until I was on the phone to everyone, reaching for help!
My husband can be so mean and hateful, saying things that you would say to someone that you hated. He is verbally abusive, has been physically abusive. He will take off walking, no matter what the temp. out, even 27 below 0! I have to drive him due to his DWI, this being his 2nd. Anyway I get to his work that is 24 miles away from our home, he has either refused a ride or would make me wait for him. One night I waited for 2 hours with a blizarrd warning. I made 3 trips trying to pick him up from his work in one night, that night he started walking in 50 below wind chill, he was out in it for over a hour! He will refuse rides and walk no matter the distance or the weather. I am so tired of being his Yo-yo! He will tell me to be there, but when I get there he wont get in with me.
Most days it takes everything I have just to get through the day, it is so physically & mentally draining! The "Good" days are few and far between, but they are what hold me together, cuz I know the loving, caring man he CAN be when not in a episode. Here is a little taste into my life the last 5 months since we discovered he had bipolar. You have any questions for me, please feel free to ask!