I'm the husband of a bipolar wife and I love her dearly, but it's hard to tell if she still loves me because she doesn't even know.
She's been lately doing things that I would never put up with from a woman who wasn't suffering mental illness. More than those is the things that she's said and continues to say.
I'm at a loss because a lot of it has a grain of truth and sometimes she seems totally even keeled when she says things that make me want to leave her.
I guess what I'm getting at, I know bipolar victims say things they don't mean, but at what point do you have to start suspecting that they do mean it?
The thought of leaving her and several years down the road she gets her meds evened out and she tries to come back but I've moved on...
Has anyone found a good way to "factcheck" their significant other? Do you get more honesty out of a manic cycle or a depression cycle, or...?
I read about people who've lived with BP spouses for many years, and they are all tales of long-suffering sacrifice. Is it wrong for me to be selfish?
Also how do any of you manage not to "use" their BP in arguments? I've noticed that the quickest way to make an argument spiral out of control is to suggest that they are going through a cycle. Not just that but when they point out your flaws, how do you resist not acting like an ass and throwing it in their face; or acting like a long-suffering martyr?
We went to a pdoc and the hapless fool congratulated me in front of her for putting up with her... Yeah, make her feel good about herself Doc!
Please, I could use tips. Patience is not enough anymore, I need real tools and real help.
Thank you and God Bless you all,