Thank you all. LFW thank you so much for taking the time for me with all that you are going through. I send you big warm hugs and take comfort in knowing you are here for me.
The four days off were needed, but I've been sick for the last two. I hope I am better for work tomorrow b/c it's going to be insane there. Not looking forward to that.
Right now I am going to say this: I am going to try and focus on myself. I just decided that as I wrote it down. I need to stop worrying about this relationship for now. It is consuming me and feeding the depression. I need to just do what I need to do for me. Since I know I'm not ready to walk away, I think I'll just take a mental break from the stress of it. That is probably going to be a lot harder than I think, but I need to separte from this anxiety for now. I need to focus on my mood and what I need to do to stablize.
Hope to get the meds situation settled Friday when I see the pdoc. I'm only taking the Lamictal now, so of course we need to add something. The worst part is since going off the Risperdal I am not sleeping at night. And that is critical for me.
Anyway, thanks again to all of you. I will keep you posted.