Well, yesterday was a nightmare. I couldn't wake him up in the morning - AT ALL, so instinctively I did a pill count and he took 26 2mg of Ativan. I called poison control and they said to immediately hang up with them and call 911. So I did. Before 7am I had 6 ambulance attendants and 4 cops in my house... my poor kids. They were more interested, but my oldest knew something was up. Anyways, he slept monitored until I had to leave for work and he tried to leave too - ripped out his IV (bled all over the place) and the heart monitors and stuff he was on - the nurse came over and said if he wasn't compliant they'd put him in restraints... that was the last I heard until lunch when my mom called. She went down to see him and was shocked to see him tied to the bed - one arm over his head and the other at his side... and "oh was he angry" she said. But he let her feed him lunch and then fell into a really deep sleep which is the state I found him in when I went back after work. I didn't bother waking him up and went home to feed my kids dinner (albeit macaroni) and put them to bed. My gf came and watched them so I could go back where he was awake and wanted answers. He still didn't make much sense and kept repeating his questions. He was joking about
how "i picked a doozy" and was so nonchalant about
the whole event ("i was having a good sleep", etc). He told the pdoc on that night that he started to get a good buzz off the couple that he took so he took more, but didn't remember taking that many... he also blamed me, our kids and our relationship as to the "escape" he needed from. ouch. I basically said to him that i'm going to assume right now the ativan hasn't wore off and i'm not going to take that personally, and he shrugged his shoulders. He said as selfish as it sounds, it's just so easy to fall into a nice sleep and never wake up.
So, they got him a bed in psych, he barely said goodbye and I left. The psych nurse came out after me and tried to reassure me that he didn't mean what he said, blah blah blah - and I tried to leave with a smile, but when the words are said, meaningful or not, it hurts. And you start to wonder if they're actually true, especially when it's the same thing he says every time.
Well... that's my update...
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed
by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do."
-- MARK TWAIN