First, I am sorry you are suffering with this disease.
I want to ask a couple questions...just to clarify where you are coming from.
1. Was there an external cause for your being depressed for so long? Did you lose a loved one, go through a divorce, you get the idea...something that turned your world upside down?
2. What side effects are caused by the drugs, or combination of drugs that make it better to you to go through this instead of taking a higher dose?
3. You are on 1 antidepressant, and 2 mood stabilizers. Mood stabilizers are what help keep us from going really manic...gives us back some control.
The question: Has your doctor tried other antidepressants, or mood stabilizers, or some other combination of the 2? If so, has the one you are on now proven to be the best combination?
I'm sorry if it seems I am hassling you. I am not meaning to. It hurts me to realize that you are on treatment, and it isn't working. Each patient reacts differently to different meds/combos. Personally, Effexor made me feel like I could climb walls. Most of the people here have tried a variety of meds and combos. Some have found a grouping that allows them to function, others are still looking.
I also take an antidepressant, and 2 mood stabilizers. We finally found a combination that is working. It doesn't mean that I am always even. I want you to have the same since of control in your life. Maybe a change in meds would do better than an increase in current meds if they cause that bad of side effects.
Whatever you can take out of my ramblings, please take. Anything that is useless to you, throw out. I have just gone through a period of rapid cycling, and landed in extreme anxiety. My Psych RA adjusted my meds, and I am doing better. Best I am not worrying about....I'll get that in the next life!!
My prayers are with you.
Fibromyalgia, Bipolar II, Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, Anxiety, Arthritis, High Blood Pressure, etc.