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Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 5/24/2009 5:18 PM (GMT -7)   
My mood has been changing all day and right now I am very short tempered. The slightest thing pushes my buttons and I go off on people for looking at me wrong. Everything just seems to bother me and my patience is virtually non existent.
How do you deal with things when you are ill tempered and angry? Its not me, just the mood that I am in. How am I supposed to explain that to people, ya know. People just assume I am in a bad mood, and its true, but I cant help it. I try not to say anything at all and hold it all in, but its really hard. The slightest thing makes me explode. I just want to be left alone. Everything is bothering me and I just want it all to stop.....
How am I supposed to be okay with this?? This isnt the first time obviously, but I want to know what others, who I would assume understand, think and how you guys handle/deal with moods.
Lyrica(15 months on, but now officially off of it!) and Paxil(about 6+- months)
Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, Panic Attacks-currently in therapy
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
    "Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 5/25/2009 9:23 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Tennis,

When I'm like that, I try to stay by myself -- the better to protect others from my venom. Or I do outright warn people "I'm in a really crappy mood today -- It's not you." But I stay away from my friends or anyone else who I might hurt by being grouchy at. If you have to be around others (like at school) then tell your closest friends you love them but you need some space today, you're feeling really grouchy. If they pressure you to ask what's wrong, just tell them you'll talk about it when you're feeling better. By then, they'll have forgotten all about it.

Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

loving frustrated wife
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 865
   Posted 5/25/2009 9:28 AM (GMT -7)   
Tennisdoc09, is good you can see what is going on with you. Because of that, you have a shot at manually controlling what you are going through, or at least minimizing the damage to others it can cause. While it is not your fault that you are BP, it is ALSO not others fault that you are either. To recognize that what you are feeling at this time is tainted, and not real, and does not deserve any value placed on it, is a start. The other is to humbly and honestly as calm as possible, explain to those around you what is happening and that you will do your best to control your outbursts, that you know it is not them, it is you, and you in advance apologize and ask their patience with you during this episode. That when they can it is probably best to leave you alone for the time being, that you will let them know when you stabilize again and do not feel so out of control. IF, you do go off on someone, simply say, "I'm sorry, you have really not done anything wrong, I am just being oversensitive and out of control." And then walk away.

Bottom line, it is no one’s fault that you are BP, and how you react inside or outside an episode, with or without your meds working, is your responsibility. I am a spouse to a BP, and I will share with you that when he gets like you are describing, the only thing that helps being on the receiving end, and certainly creates more patience and understanding on my end, is when he begins it and catches himself and apologizes acknowledging that I actually was not doing, had not done, anything. This was him, and he was sorry, he is/was having an episode and is/was being over sensitive to everything. This then allows me to control my voice and keep it more gentle, leave him alone when he needs it, not take it personal...etc. When he doesn't see it, and lashes out with no apology, and just dumps on me....all I want to do is defend myself & we end up fighting....and for what....his episode? Then I am fighting and defending myself against the BP not my H, and that is a losing battle for all involved in that moment. The win-win is the other.

Good luck to you, and good job on reaching out and comminicating. Also, call you pdoc and let him know the meds may need some adjusting as episodes are breaking through...I will hold good thoughts for you that the episode eases up soon. LFW
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