I have a question about who told you they may not treat you anymore. Was it your Psychologist or your Psychiatrist that said that to you? I know that with my psychologist I did make a contract with her, but after hurting myself again and going in the hospital she would never say that. Please choose your therapist wisely your in charge of how people treat you, and do not feel shame because you need to continue getting the help you need. Hang in there.