Best friend has Bp disorder!!

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New Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 7/27/2009 4:15 AM (GMT -7)   
Well first i'd like to introduce myself and explain a little about why I have ended up searching the internet for answers. I'm female and have a male best friend who is dianosed with Bi polar, we have been best friends for a year now, but over the last 6 months things between us have got quite messy. I've always been there for him tried to be a friend unconditionally with nothing in return.
He then springs a bombshell that he has feelings for me, which turned my life upside down and made me think of feelings i may have been hiding for him, to cut a long story short he then decides he cant take things further due to I have children and he couldnt be doing with them, that his condition makes him selfish and he can barely look after hisself let alone children, I was hurt and understood where he was coming from, but deep down very hurt and confused as to why he would say his feelings if he couldnt act on them, I've researched bi polar over and over and Ive just finished doing a year of A levels in psychology with a presentation on bi polar. This last two months has been agony because ive tried to be a best friend to him and but over the last two months hes gone to telling me he loves me but cant commit, to he wants to be in a relationship, Ive seen him through mania stages where hes so hyper he runs around the house like hes going to explode with energy to his depressive stages of wanting to kill himself or someone, I really do love this man, and really dont want to walk away from our friendship but am scared that we have gone past the stage of trying to repair it as i'm confused but what he really feels for me and this gives me great pain. I just need somewhere to release all this cos i feel like im going mad.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1441
   Posted 7/27/2009 11:54 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Faith,

Welcome to Healingwell.  I'm sure you will find the support you are looking for.

Right now though, this issue is not something that I am good at advising on.  There have been many people around here that have been in relationships with people who have bi-polar and ones that were considering it.  I'm married and feel that my perspective would be biased.

But there are a lot of wonderful people around here who will be able to post back to you and offer some good advise.

I just wanted to let you know that we are around.  Hang on.


New Member

Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 10/29/2009 8:01 PM (GMT -7)   
Run from this guy! What kind of a friend is he if he makes you feel that way?

New Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 10/29/2009 8:32 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm no expert on either bi-polar or relationships, but it doesn't seem like this is a relationship you can comfortably enter into. You might just consider being a friend to him and trying to put aside your romantic feelings. Maybe if he eventually learns to manage his bipolar, he will give you the signs necessary for you to feel better about getting more deeply involved.

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