Behavior/Mood Strategies?

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New Member

Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 8/3/2009 4:24 PM (GMT -7)   
Anyone have suggestions for this? I was at work today (I'm a teacher), busy in pre-school year meetings and setting up my classroom, which was formerly someone else's.

My problem is this someone else. Not so much him, but my reaction to his attitude. He's a fun, intelligent person, and I'm sure a great teacher, but as a colleague he is irresponsible, disrespectful, and has an attitude of "I'm more important than you."

Unfortunately, I've had to wait on this person to get textbooks out of my classroom so I can finish my set-up, get my books in, etc. But he claims that he is too busy, and has other priorities. And he also missed the department meeting today, which I know he knew about, because I told him 15 minutes beforehand! He at first wasn't going to go, because he'd been in meetings all morning, and had other things to do. My response was: "Like all of us!" Of course, he didn't show up.

He kind of got attitude with me. And I responded back. I was so angry about this, that I nearly sent myself into an anxiety attack! Sometimes, this stuff just rolls right off my back, but today I was actually shaking!

To sum up: does anyone have any strategies that help with this kind of antagonistic, anxiety-ridden reaction to someone else? It's not like I can leave work, or pop a pill right there, or something. I try all the deep breaths, count to ten, positive imagery, etc. - but I don't seem to make much progress.

Tips or suggestions?
"Sanity is a cozy lie." ~ Susan Sontag

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 8/4/2009 9:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Lady Knight,

Actually, I did talk to my doc about anxiety pills that are more appropriate at work and she gave me a really old one they don't use much anymore called Cerax. It's in the Xanax family but doesn't make me sleepy. Well anyway, it doesn't much matter other than that you can talk to your doctor if you think you might be having anxiety problems at work.

As to self-important colleages, everyone's got them, and you've got to tell them where to go (not literally) and let it pass you by. He may have a grudge against the department chair or some other completely different agenda that you don't know a thing about that kept him out of that meeting today and you made yourself all upset about it. (My husband is an academic and in a toxic academic department -- I know ALL about bad meetings.) Rather than spend the day upset, you could've let it go. I know how much harder this is to do than say, but try and forget about it and have a better day tomorrow. If he continues to be a jerk. We'll talk more about it then.

Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

New Member

Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 8/5/2009 8:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Actually, things are much better. I was able to break down at home a little during lunch, have a cathartic cry, and go back to work. This morning, I saw him at the local Starbucks, and we chatted just fine. I did tell him that I wanted to apologize for being so b#tchy, and I didn't mean it. Many of my colleagues know about my bipolar, and I told him that it wasn't an excuse, but I have been pretty "bipolar sick" for the past few weeks (I tend towards mixed states), and my "filter" hasn't been working so hot. He just nodded, and said, "Yeah, I was having a bad day, too." And then, he said, "Accepted."

All is well.

Even when I can't let things go - even though I totally should - I think my biggest strength is my ability to reflect on what happened, and own up to my bad behavior. This is a person who is actually pretty fun to talk to, he's smart, (except with the whole self-importance thing), but that I can totally ignore (when I'm not in an angry mood).

Thank you so much for your response. I don't have any bp support groups nearby - especially ones that meet in the evenings or on weekends - so it's great to find an online group that will understand.

All is well. :)
"Sanity is a cozy lie." ~ Susan Sontag

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1441
   Posted 8/5/2009 10:32 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi LadyKnight,

You said it well!!!

"I think my biggest strength is my ability to reflect on what happened, and own up to my bad behavior."

I think that is the biggest hurdle to get over for most of us!  You should be very proud of yourself and have a WONDERFUL start to being proactive in your wellness!

Good for you!!! blush

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 223
   Posted 8/6/2009 10:48 AM (GMT -7)   
I have worked with many other employee's like that in my time.  I work in the nursing field and everyone likes that type of person and excuses their behaivior "Oh that is just the way they are" and it is no excuse.  Try as hard as you can to avoid being around that person because they will never change and your mental being means more. You can chat minimal amounts to them, but avoid the frustration.   If I were you I would pack up his belongings and books and put them aside and let it go until he comes and gets them.  I wish you all the luck, and hang in there.
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