I am so exasperated... My bp wife wants to leave me again

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New Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 8/28/2009 4:31 PM (GMT -7)   
I can honestly say that I don't know what to do. I love this woman with all my heart. She's the only person I've ever loved and the only one I want in my future.
about every 2 months, she gets it in her head that she hates the way that I treat her. That she just wants to be alone, and she has no soft place to land. She wants to take my kids and leave, even though there is no way we can afford it. I am not perfect by any means, but I just don't see how I treat her badly. She says that she loves me, but she wants to do what she wants to do, when she wants to do it.
I am at my ropes end. We've been together since we were teenagers. Together for 19 years and married for 17. We have 4 great kids. I don't know... I'm just have trouble finding the words to express everything.

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 59
   Posted 8/28/2009 6:11 PM (GMT -7)   
You have my sympathy bluetiger. You are not alone in this kind of frustration. It hurts when you do everything right, when things seem to be wonderful, and then suddenly you are doing everything wrong in their eyes.

If you know you don't treat her badly, don't buy into it. Its my experience that the disorder causes the sufferer to see the one closest to them as the enemy who is responsible for all of their imagined ills.

You posted back in June that she was started on some trial samples of medication. Did she continue on her medicine? Has she gotten any therapy or counseling?

If she can stay on a treatment regimen, there is hope that things will become more normalized and everyone can have a rewarding life together. The key is that she must be willing to work at it, accept your support and listen to you openly when you express your concerns about any signs you see.

You part includes making sure you provide an environment that is low stress, that you don't attack her for the things she can't control, that you understand what her triggers are and try very hard not to set them off.

If you are still committed to her and your marriage, then all you can do it support her and be ready to welcome her back when she is ready to return. In the meantime, take care of yourself and your children.

(Mine is leaving, refuses to believe her BP has anything to do with it, and I don't have the strength to battle it anymore.)

Post Edited (ImDealing) : 8/28/2009 8:16:31 PM (GMT-6)

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 8/28/2009 9:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi bluetiger,

She really needs to see a psych and get on a regular system of medication and therapy. Without that, more of the same. I'm sorry to say.

Good luck,
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

New Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 8/28/2009 9:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for the concern. She goes to a doctor regularly and is taking a prescription of seroquel (which has been increased twice). Seperate therapy outside of the pdoc is not an option for her because she won't do it (long story).
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