I joined just a few minutes ago after reading others openly discussing the challenges of living with a bi-polar spouse. I have only been married for 6 years and we do not share any children together. Although my husband is bi-polar he has a successful career and manages to provide for us without any problem. We do own a beautiful house together and in our 50's we are enjoying financial benefits. It should be a time when life is great, but it's not. When we first married, he was not diagnosed as bi-polar and he was drinking large quanitites of vodka to help him cope with the bi-polar traits that we now realize were ocurring at that time. Just one year ago, he hit is "rock bottom" with alcohol and got the medical attention he needed to treat his bi-polar problems. His psychiatrist has put him on lithium, seroquel and .5mgs of clonazepam, 4 times per day. I feel quite sad as it feels like the drugs have just replaced the alcohol. He may not be drinking (which was a nightmare) but he appears stoned and after taking 400 mgs of seroquel at 5pm, his speech is slurred. I cannot understand what he says and then he gets angry at me for not hearing him. I am told to get my hearing checked because he believes he is talking clearly. The psychiatrist specializes in bi-polar and says that if this medication is not taken, then the likelihood of drinking once again is inevitable. I feel that drugs have taken the place of the alcohol and I am still married to someone who is impaired and woozey. We went out to a wonderful play just last weekend and throughout the whole play he slept. I feel alone and lonely. Yes, I know I could leave and that thought crosses my mind a lot. There are some calmer times and the month of July was great and his mood seemed stable. It never lasts and while I get "used" to this wonderful man, he changes before my very eyes. This low mood swing he is presently in has been going on for over one month. I was looking for a support group to go to in my city, but have not come up with anything nearby. I am hoping this site may provide me with the strength to carry on. The frustrating part is that he feels everything is my fault and I get blamed for absolutely everything. We have a lovely holiday planned to Hawaii in December and all I want to do is cancel it as he sabotages every holiday we go on alone and I do wish to go through another holiday disaster. Your comments and support is appreciated. Thank you for reading.