i was so sure my mom was manic...

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Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 45
   Posted 10/20/2009 7:43 PM (GMT -7)   
i'm almost 18 years old and ive been having problems with my mom for a really long time. we both clash a lot and we dont really get a long too well, but a lot of it has to do with the fact that my mom is completely all over the place. one minute shes crying, the next 2 minutes she'll be happy, laughing again, and then angry. this behaviour really messes with me, and with my dad too.
my mom has been through a lot, and i know she suffers from depression even though its never really been diagnosed but i do know that for a fact. she feels hopeless a lot, she is very inconsistent, she drinks at night till late, does things at odd times.
i was sure that she was bi polar because her anger gets so extreme sometimes, and she goes from 1 to 10 in a second. and all that goes through my mind is that she isn't well.. something isn't right. the fighting that goes on between us is awful, and a lot of it is her fault but i defintly do not help the situations either.
we have been trying to get her to get help for a long time, and she still hasnt. she thinks she will get drugged up, and she doesn't want that. but i am going to bring her and my dad in to my next session with my psycologist and she wont know the reason why until she is in there..
anyway i guess i was so sure she was bi polar becuase it made so much sense. but me and my psycologist talked about it for an hour and she told me that she isn't from what i told her about mymother.
i reay want to get her help becuase i dont want to live like this, i just want to see her happy and everyone around her happy.
one step at a time i guess.
teh sad thing is that my dad sits back and takes it and freaks out about it all the time, but won't make her get help.
i suffer from depression and ibs, and i think she makes both of those things a lot worse.
i could never tell her that though.

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 10/20/2009 9:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi jrlm,

Bipolar is one of the most difficult to diagnose mental disorders out there. So many factors go into determining what mania is. For example, alcohol abuse is a symptom of many psychological afflictions, but it also causes a number of them as well.

While your mother sounds like she could definitely use a psychiatric evaluation, you cannot force the issue. She will not thank you for ambushing her in your doc's office, and I would definitely talk about such a strategy with your psychologist first. While I don't know your mother, I do know that many bipolars would most likely shut down and not be honest with the psych, and thus it would be completely counter-productive. She has to WANT to get better.

Let your mother know you love her and want her to be well, therefore you think she should get evaluated, but if she refuses there's not much you can do. It's much more useful to focus on yourself. Let me refer you to the book "Toxic Parents" by Susan Forward, and to Al-Anon: www.al-anon.alateen.org/

Be well,

Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

"Bipolar disorder can be a great teacher. It's a challenge, but it can set you up to be able to do almost anything else in your life." - CARRIE FISHER

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 1143
   Posted 10/27/2009 9:41 PM (GMT -7)   
Your mom's symptoms sounds exactly what I went through at perimenopause. It is kind of like the hormone surges and plunges some teenagers get at the beginning and middle stages of puberty. My hormone levels changed so fast throughout the day that I was on a constant emotional rollercoaster. I thought I was losing my mind. It was a nightmare.
I found a doctor who specializes in menopause. She tested my hormonal levels and decided to put me on hormone replacement therapy until my body has reached menopause. It completely evened out my emotions so I could be good ole reliable me again. Less than 1 percent of women experience this.
Could you have a close friend of hers talk to her about this? This subject is probably too emotionally charged for the two of you to discuss it. Has she had a physical lately? The endocrinology tests can also be done by her primary care physician, but because this reaction is so rare a pcp might not know much about it. When my tests results came back I was relieved to find out it was something that could be controlled.
There are so many possible causes for her symptoms beyond the above. She may enjoy talking with your doctor but I suspect she may want to be in charge of the process of figuring out what is going on. Of course, there is the problem that many people going through emotional/physical crisis can't see that they have changed. This is where a close, loving friend can be invaluable.
I wish you the best.
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