Yes it does. This was my worst year for riding a bicycle, or creating anything with my hands, and very little in the way of fun in bed . LOL LOL LOL My wife tells me that i have been a better father and husband this last year than in the previous 9 years combined. And i have to say that that has a lot of value for me. But i really miss that drive that was with in me and the abilty to do things that i found fun.
And being honest with myself i was a high functioning BiPolar, i held down two almost full time jobs and rode like a demon and still had energy to come home and be a husband (if you know what i mean) After doing a year on the "program" i am just exploring if "normalicy" is right for me. I'm just conflicted, i want to be the man my wife wants me to be, at the same time i want to be the man i really am. I feel in my soul that there is an upside to this disease, that it isnt all doom and gloom and meds the rest of my life. That upside for me was a feeling of happiness, a natural high that each day was special, that each experience was a step in my spritual progression.
Ok, i'm starting to get on my own darn nerves . Sometime you just ahve to vent, know what i mean?
Thanks for listening.