I'm back and worn thin....

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loving frustrated wife
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Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 865
   Posted 1/13/2010 10:20 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi all,  LONG time no visiting...here's a quick update to what is going on...

1. I am doing overall better with the anxiety and depression that hit me in 2009.  The good news for me is it is starting to lift with much therapy, meds and support.

2. Hubby and I are STILL in therapy together...YEAH! But things are TOTALLY rough.  But the good news is we are still trying to work through to a much better place together.  He has made some progress and actually said out loud to my son's school that he TOO is BP.  WOW...HUGE for him.

3. Our youngest boy is definitely showing signs of moods when we took him off strattera for the side effect of canker sores.  They cleared up, we put him back on and POOF...the canker sores are back.  Does ANYONE have a solution to counteract this side effect?

4. OK....the biggie....our oldest is struggling so terribly.  We are seeing slight delusional behavior on a small scale.  He is making piss poor choices that keep blowing up in his face.  He is using the threat of suicide as a manipulative tool that is extending to a girl at his school he is "in love with" who does NOT share his feelings with a 2 page letter she turned into the administration (and rightfully so as it contained suicide statements and admissions of him watching her from a far)!  WHAT!!!! I am NOT raising a junior stalker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO....we have upped his therapy to twice weekly, working closely with his pdoc...looked at a new school as an alternative...etc.  However, we need to get him to somehow finish this semester or he loses all his credit before starting him at the new school which is only two weeks away. 


Right now, I know how terrible this will sound...but I am ready to strangle him myself if he doesn't knock off this crap.  My H and I cannot get through even 24 hours without SOME crisis from him befalling us.  This is off the charts.  I finally told him if it were up to me at this point I would put him in boarding school that specializes in BP/ADHD!  It has begun to affect the family with all the stress and drama this is producing daily.  He is the boy crying wolf....and then saying....just kidding!  He admits to thinking suicide all the time, but acknowledges he would NEVER do it due to all the people it would so negatively affect, plus he doesn't really want to, he just wants to stop hurting inside.  Both his doctors say they do not believe he is truly suicidal, just manipulating.  But, they also say that could of course change, but they don't believe he is close to this state right now.  SO...given all the social problems he is having with the kids at school from all this, and all the BP stuff going on with him, my H and I are at a total loss.  We are exhausted and discouraged, and so sad for our son, ourselves, our family. 


So...there is the update on the personal front...on the home front...we are still being audited by the IRS and we are still waiting to hear about being kicked out of our home due to our landlords being jailed for a violent crime after they let our house we lease go into foreclosure.  The drama around here is INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Wishing you all well...LFW 

Post Edited (loving frustrated wife) : 1/13/2010 12:15:35 PM (GMT-7)

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Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2896
   Posted 1/13/2010 11:19 AM (GMT -7)   

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Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 1/13/2010 7:36 PM (GMT -7)   

Hello and welcome back!

Here's the post I mentioned in my email about canker sores :

From Fibromyalgia moderator Sherrine: "I would get horrible canker sores in my mouth and along my tongue, to the point I could barely eat. I had tried everything but they continued to come back. One day I decided to try something. I pulled out a bottle of rum, put some in my mouth, swished it around and then spit it out. It burned terribly for about five seconds and then my mouth got tingly. But, I noticed the canker sores didn't hurt as much so I did it again that evening. The next morning they were better so I did it again in the morning and the evening. By the third day they were nearly all gone! They did come back occasionally but I caught it right away. Now I really don't seem to get them.

Because it worked so well for me, I did this with my children when they would get canker sores. I used a Q-Tip dipped in the rum and then would press it on the canker sore. They knew it would hurt for a few seconds but not as much as having the sore in their mouths. They would come to me and ask me to use the rum on it and, sure enough, they cleared up for my kids too. My kids are adults now and still use this method."

Hope it helps,
Co-Moderator, Bipolar and Depression Forums
Bipolar II

"Bipolar disorder can be a great teacher. It's a challenge, but it can set you up to be able to do almost anything else in your life." - CARRIE FISHER

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 1/17/2010 1:00 PM (GMT -7)   


Glad we've heard from you; not glad you're going through so much.  Just remember how much you've survived already and that you will find peace, I know you will.  You are long overdue.

You are still doing all the right things in my eyes.  I support you and I am proud of you as usual smile Please keep us updated; I know it's hard. I've hit a huge episode (since September) and I don't make the time to seek support here and I should.  But as long as you know we are here.  I do check in so I was glad to see you posted.

Sending many warm hugs your way.

Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed, Methoprazine 4mg/day, Mirapex .75 mg/day & Lamictal 350 mg/day

loving frustrated wife
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 865
   Posted 1/19/2010 7:51 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you SO much Mogli, it means SO much to me to be able to reach out here and be able to visit with a community of people who can see and understand ALL the sides of this. Being connected here has always been a godsend to me. HUGS....LFW
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