My wife and I have been together for almost 9 years.
She was diagnosed with Bipolar before we met, when she was 13 or 14.
After about two years together she began to really dislike sex, it makes her very uncomfortable.
This is still an issue today, however shortly after that started she began to dislike almost all physical contact.
I worked very hard to be understanding and patient, and began to learn to live this way (although very stressful).
After about 5 years together we decided to have a child. When she became pregnant she went off of her medication immediately and has been off of them ever since.
We now have a wonderful three year old son who we both love very much.
She is a fantastic mother. However, recently she expressed to me that since he was born, her feelings have changed towards me and she is having a hard time being a mother and a wife.
She spoke with a mental health worker before telling me this and the worker suggested that she should try living on her own for a while.
When my wife mentioned this idea to me, I was HEARTBROKEN. This happened about three days ago. Since then we have been having deep discussions daily, and she has begun coming with me to see my psychologist as a couple (as I am OCD, Anxiety, Depersonalized).
Everyday is hard for me as I go to work and I cannot concentrate. I am sure that some of this problem is due to my own illnesses (Anxiety/OCD). Today I came home from work for a couple of hours as I needed to talk to her to calm myself. She mentioned today that occasionally she gets these feelings that suggest to her that she loves me very much and she is not sure why she says she doesn't want to be with me. This made me feel better, but at the same time made me nervous as I worry that she will pretend to be alright now just so she doesn't hurt me.
Through our first therapy session my psychologist suggested that she seek help from a psychiatrist and work to get her mood stabilized. In the meantime, my psychologist and her discussed with me things that I need to do for her and things I should avoid doing. I am completely supportive in every way as I really want this to work out and I am hopeful of a brighter future for our relationship. However, I feel slightly abused, neglected and worn. I have been very patient for 6 years as our intimacy issues were not resolved and now I am being pressured for more time.
The one suggestion from my psychologist and her that I am having trouble with is giving her more space to be with her friends. This bothers me because she does not have many girl friends. The reason I get jealous is because I feel like I can't make her happy, so I don't like that others can. I am confident that she is not cheating, and I don't think that is the issue with my jealousy. However, because there is not a lot of intimacy in our relationship, I feel as though everything that we do together she does with her friends too. We don't have any special activities or special moments that distinguish between friendship and love.
I love my wife very very much and desire very much to be close to her again.
I am having trouble staying optimistic, and could use the support of others in similar situations.